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Relationships

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Why do some people like sado-massochism and is it a perversion?

30 replies

Socci · 13/09/2006 17:06

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Flamesparrow · 13/09/2006 17:07

Depends how extreme it is I guess - I mean there is a difference between the odd bit of bum slapping, and being tied up and beaten with big sticks...

Blandmum · 13/09/2006 17:08

ot having a nail hammer though your penis (which was the legal case a few years ago)

Socci · 13/09/2006 17:16

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Flamesparrow · 13/09/2006 17:16

Argh! To me, that would be a perversion!

Flamesparrow · 13/09/2006 17:17

That was to MB... To my mind spanking etc is just something you may or may not like, not some deep rooted trauma! Like liking fair rides or not.

FioFio · 13/09/2006 17:18

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NotQuiteCockney · 13/09/2006 17:22

What do you mean by "perversion"?

I would normally use the term to mean: something that a person requires in order to have sex. So if you have to have your partner dressed up as a chipmunk, then that's a perversion. If you just really like it when they dress up as a chipmunk, then, ok, you're weird, but it's not a perversion.

I don't think there's a lot of scientific explanation for people's individual sexual tastes, any more than there is for why people like redheads or whatever.

IMO, as long as all the people involved are consenting, whatever people get up to is fine by me. (Ok, that cannibalism case was a bit creepy ...)

Blandmum · 13/09/2006 17:25

NQC, I must say I feel very edgy when people induge to the point where they do actual bodily harm IYSWIM.

A bit of spanking leaves no lasting damage. I would worry that wanting someone to hammer a nail through your penis was a symptom of some deeper problem.

The anaolgy would be smoking some dope and mainlining heroin I suppose

Socci · 13/09/2006 17:25

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Flamesparrow · 13/09/2006 17:25

Well put NQC - the nail hammer can be counted as a bit weird (or completely nuts - no pun intended) as long as it wasn't needed..

Being forced to watch Emmerdale though - I think that that can seriously damage you.

catsmother · 13/09/2006 17:26

I honestly believe that one person's "perversion" is another person's "normal" and vice versa of course. Obviously there is stuff which is less common (or so we are led to believe by surveys and such) than readily accepted practices, but why, providing both parties readily agree to whatever it is, should other people deem it wrong - period.

Wrong for them is quite understandable and acceptable but I don't think anyone has the right to condemn someonme else's sex life. At the end of the day, what does it matter if Mrs Miggins down the road enjoys something you might personally think is odd.

And I'm convinced that a much larger proportion of people than you imagine have their own little "peculiar" fetishes. After all, the ins and outs (no pun intended) of our sex lives aren't something that most people would probably be totally honest about, me included, simply because many people (even "adventurous" ones) regard such things as private and personal.

I don't give a damn what other people do - honestly - even if it's something I'd never want to try in a million years. I'm a great believer in the old adage "if it feels good do it" (providing no-one gets hurt - either emotionally or physically (unless they want to be!)).

NotQuiteCockney · 13/09/2006 17:26

Hmm, I'm certainly a bit disturbed by people putting nails into their bits (not as bad as that cannibalism case, though, right?), or that whole saline inflation with needles thing ...

But piercing is legal and fine, even of bits, so why not playing with nails?

I certainly wouldn't do it, or want to see anyone doing it, but I'm not comfortable with seeing it as that much different from "normal" sexual activity ...

CarolinaMoon · 13/09/2006 17:26

interesting definition of perversion NQC.

I'd always imagined it was a moral judgement on someone's actions/thoughts - kind of I have unusual tastes/ you are kinky/ he's perverted type of thing.

NotQuiteCockney · 13/09/2006 17:27

So we're all in favour of people killing and eating each other, as long as they get consent?

(You guys do know about that case, right?)

CarolinaMoon · 13/09/2006 17:29

isn't the nailing thing a very extreme version of body piercing?

I really wouldn't want my clitoris pierced, for example, but plenty of people do.

NotQuiteCockney · 13/09/2006 17:29

I didn't make up that definition of "perversion", I read it somewhere, btw.

CarolinaMoon · 13/09/2006 17:29

the cannibalism case was utterly stomach-churning. And definitely not ok imho .

so was the scrote-nailing, tbh.

Flamesparrow · 13/09/2006 17:30

Know nothing about that case - and ewwwwwwww

Blandmum · 13/09/2006 17:31

The canabalism case was quite something. I'm assuming that the decision was that you can't legally consent to be killed and eaten. [worried smile emoticon]

I think the piercing issue is somewhat different since pain doesn't seem to be the reason it is done. I've got my ears done, but it doesn'#t hurt and hasn;t since the first week after they were done .

Causing physical damage is something that I feel worried about and don't know if it can be sanctioned , even if the person wants it to happen. Otherwise why not allow the canaibalism case as well.

NotQuiteCockney · 13/09/2006 17:31

The nail thing worries me a bit, actually. If you pierce the spongy bits (I've forgotten the name for them, but they're the bits that actually get erect), I doubt the penis will work properly afterwards. And I bet that genitals bleed quite a bit, and I know (from various postnatal threads) they get infected pretty easily.

Maybe doing things that are likely to result in an A+E visit aren't a great idea ... although goodness knows quite a few relatively "normal" sexual activities end up at A+E too ...

NotQuiteCockney · 13/09/2006 17:33

The truly weird thing on the cannibalism case was, he'd made contact with a different person before, who wanted to be killed and eaten, who then changed his mind. And he said "ok, ok then" and let the guy go. He wanted to kill and eat someone, but only with their consent.

I mean, I guess it isn't that weird, I suspect nearly everyone into any sort of perversion wants consenting partners (and in areas of sex where people are "playing" with consent issues, they're quite serious about underlying consent, from what I know), but it's weird to think of a cannibal wanting consent.

I do think some people who get the more ... ahem ... esoteric piercings, are into pain.

NotQuiteCockney · 13/09/2006 17:34

Oh, yeah, I don't think you can legally consent to be killed and eaten. Interesting case, though. People are weird.

CarolinaMoon · 13/09/2006 17:39

tbh, the victim wanting to eat his own knob is a pretty weird aspect of that case too.

I wonder if extreme piercing have a link to the kind of 'release'/feeling more 'alive' that self-harmers apparently have when they injure themselves.

NotQuiteCockney · 13/09/2006 18:30

Could be. Sounds like an endorphin buzz to me.

NotQuiteCockney · 13/09/2006 18:30

And yeah, wanting to eat your own knob is a bit strange. And quite hard to fulfill, generally, I would think?

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