Am I naieve to think...

[moomin35]

...that my relationship wouldn't suffer negatively due to the arrival of a newborn? Does every relationship suffer after the birth of a baby and no one broadcasts it hence you don't hear about it or is it just mine.
Really dislike my partner since the arrival of my baby and I think he feels the same, I don't know if this is normal and we should just ride it out or whether the relationship is fundamentally flawed and we should part ways.

It's a huge adjustment time and I think nearly all relationships take a dip due to the strain.

There is a huge adjustment to be made in practical terms about what you are able to do and not do that you did before. You are taking on a huge responsibility with less oversight then if you adopt a cat from a rescue centre and you get to do it all on little and broken sleep. Depending on how you and your DP interact and cope, these things can be temporary and almost a strengthening experience or yes, it can drive you apart. You MUST talk to each other about how you are feeling and why. Try to keep about how YOU feel, not what HE is doing, or not doing and under no circumstances compete in the "tiredness olympics". You both have gold medals, no-one wins. You may be suffering physical after effects and your sex life is likely non existent. It does improve, I promise, and hopefully within about 6 weeks, then 12 there are fairly major improvements. In the meantime, talk and be kind to each other.

I don't have dc yet so don't know but I think about this too

A friend says her and her DH have grown closer since having children

Another is on the brink of leaving her DP

Can you guess which man makes a concerted effort to be both a good father and partner (romantic and practical in terms of doing his share)? And which fucks off to the gym every night and never spends time with his son?

Why do you dislike each other? What are the stress points? What does 'disliking each other' look like day to day? Often a baby is the first point in a relationship when a couple have had to park egos and properly work together on something that isn't purely about themselves. With a first baby, everyone's learning so there can be differences of opinion. Babies keep unsociable hours which some find restrictive and tiring, making ordinary niggles bigger than they might be.

Sadly, the arrival of a first child can also be when latent bullying/abusive tendencies show themselves. Hence my questions.