Am I expecting too much?

[catkin14]

I dont know if I have watched too many slushy films or read too many romantic books here so need a little objective advice please?

I have been divorced for a year now, was married over 25 years to a EA.
Despite a nasty divorce I am ok and met a nice man. We have a lot in common and get on well and importantly to me he gets on very well with my DC's.
AT first he bought me flowers and took me out to dinner and gradually we spent more and more time together.
But as time has gone on there is no romantic stuff, no wild weekends spent in bed etc. and its a bit like being married again but 15 years into it. We dont live together and are both in our early 50's.

Am I expecting the wrong sort of thing at my time of life? Should I feel lucky to have met a decent normal man? Which on most levels he is.
Do people my age do exciting and romantic things still?

In my limited experience, relationships bimble along how you let them.

If you want something different, you try little changes to achieve that. If you do what you always did, you get what you always got.

I agree with Joysmum
There is no reason why romance should be the exclusive domain of your DP. If you want more romance, sexy stuff or spontaneity then why not start the ball rolling........buy him a little gift, text him with a loving or sexy message, run him a lovely bath with candles etc etc
With any luck he will soon follow suit.
If he doesn't then guess you will just have to accept that nobody is perfect and to be grateful for all his many positive traits.
And yes, people of your age do a variety of exciting and romantic things but many are just content with a reasonably happy and harmonious relationship and romantic gestures for many become less important over the years.

Thanks for both replies. I have suggested many things but he seems to have an excuse for most of them.
I agree that it is good to be content with a happy and harmonious relationship and romantic gestures are less important as the years go by, but surely not after 7 months?
I think I will have to accept how he is, which he is entitled to be, or move on.
I suppose its my problem having had such an unhappy long marriage and so feel there should be more than what I have.

I think the six month mark is when you start to see the real person. Everyone's on best behaviour before then, trying to impress and so on. If he's stopped taking the initiative and has an excuse when you try to take the lead then unfortunately, this is probably as romantic as he gets. Now someone will probably come along and say 'my DH hasn't shown a romantic gesture in 30 years and it's fine by me'... but if it's important to you, it's important. However nice he is, if he's a bit dull and you're not feeling special any more, don't settle.

Thanks cogito thats it exactly.
It seems odd because its as if he cant allow himself to give any more of himself if that makes sense.
I am really sad about this because I like him very much, but I need more passion from him and just dont get it. For me the comprise is too big.

Aww no you arent expecting too much age shouldnt come into it. Some men are just not romantic at all though they do it to impress at the start and once its worked they think sod it.

Its sounds like one of those situations he needs it spelling out to him and if still not the response you hoped for then I would be more concerned