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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Child maintenance - advice please

3 replies

AtSea1979 · 21/07/2014 17:10

Wasn't sure where to put this.
DD is now 5 years old. I originally agreed that as XP is a waste of space that I wouldn't take child maintenance and he wouldn't see DD. He has no interest in seeing DD but when I asked for child maintenance he made it sound like a pay per view set up. He refuses to pay unless he sees her. His ability to see her rests on his current relationship, and whether he's in one or not. In the past, at times when he's single, he gets in touch but never actually lasts long enough to physically see her.
Maybe I am better leaving it be. But every so often I think I should sort child maintenance out officially, through court or something, and whether he sees her or not is another matter. Or maybe I should leave it, I have a good life with DD, we aren't short of anything why stir it up? But just because we aren't short doesn't mean he should get away with not paying? This is the battle I keep going round in circles with in my head.
We split up when I was pregnant due to circumstances outside our control.

OP posts:
mindyourown1 · 21/07/2014 17:27

maintenance and access are totally separate to one another.

Yes, I would go to the CMS and get them to claim maintenance from him. Circumstances outside the control of both of you?

kinkyfuckery · 21/07/2014 17:33

Go to CMS and get them to chase a claim. Be prepared that he might then fight you for access.

Why did you split?

AtSea1979 · 22/07/2014 09:47

Can't go in to detail on here why we split, but there was a terrible tragedy that we both couldn't get past. Which affected his decision not to see DD.

OP posts:
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