how do i go about leaving my husband?

[raggybaggy]

My marriage is going badly and dh is driving me slowly mad. I want to make an emergency plan to leave him if things get really out of hand.
Does anyone have any practical advice about what I should do? I've got a 16 month old and can't really run to my mums as her flat is so tiny.

Any advice greatly appreciated...
Raggybaggy x

Friends?
I left my first husband, but that was prekids, soo much easier. Just got a mate with a van when he was out at work, loaded it until it was full, left the rest behind. Stayed in mate's derelict house for 8 months whilst the purchase of my flat went through.

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This might help this

I'm afraid of my husband. He's never hit me but he's v. moody and bad tempered these days. He's recently been very angry with our 16 month old for no good reason. And it's because of this that I think I should be prepared to leave. There's no way on earth he'd ever be prepared to leave and surrender our home to me.

I can't believe it's got to this stage. We haven't even been married for 3 years yet. But I keep dreaming of how happpy I'd be if I didn't have to deal with the stress of him being around, nagging and criticising all the time.

i don't care if I'd be broke, I just don't know how I'd be able to survive as I only work part time and really don't want to work full time with my baby being so young.

I haven't really got friends any more, mostly because he's scared them all off by just being unfriendly, and with a baby it's been too difficult to go out to see them cos he's always out late and I never get any time off. I know this sounds pathetic and I think I've been behaving pathetically. Just don't see a way out of this situation othter than robbing a bank or winning the lotto...

But anyway, thanks for advice
raggybaggy x

Is there a refuge you can access
my mother had nowhere to go when she left my dad (not for nearly as good reasons as you are thinking about) and they took her in, helped her into rented accomodation and sorted out benefits etc
In the meantime try squirreling money away into a hidden jar or pot or setting up an account in your sole name. Get passports/legal documents.
Pack some emergency clothes and supplies for you and your baby in a case and hide it, at your mums or somewhere just so you can swing by and pick it up if you need to leave quickly.
Are you on the mortgage? Is there no way you can get him to move out as you have the baby?

I suggest you go to see the people at citizens advice cos they are really helpful practically. womens aid are good listeners to help you assess your situation and worries but i wouldn't advise a refuge unless you are really at end of tether cos its too depressing and end of road. The council do come through with the help but its a minefield you have to be prepared to tread to get where you want to be and they are def best if you're referred by CAB. You will be entitled to flat on housing benefit if you earn less than £78 a week i think. I was better off when i did it cos i've got 4 children. i had packed an emergency bag for when i knew i had to leave and we used it! really shit desperate time but you do come through. no one should be scared in their own home, home should be your haven from the rest of the world.

Normally it's better to stay put unless you're going to be hurt so you keep the house and then force him out either through divorce proceedings which I did or if there are really grounds properly then an order against him to go right away.

My aunt went to a refuge and it wasn't anything as bad like she imagined. She got a nice 2 bed council house pretty quickly in an ok area and she's sorted now.