What do I do!?

[Lucysemple]

Sorry if this is a little long winded as I have a lot to get off my chest I'm afraid!
Me and my partner met very young and have been together 6 years, I gave up my education for him to go to university after having our daughter and now it's my turn this September to study.
However the last 2 years we have been at each other's throats, we get so irritated by each other, he's too messy and doesn't take on certain roles without being asked and I nag too much and I'm easily stressed (apparently).
We rely on each other for everything though as we've never known anything different, he supports me financially and without me I'm sure he'd struggle by himself. I've gotten to the point where I know splitting is what I want but it's breaking my heart when I think about how upset my daughter will be, how I'll have to move, how I'll struggle with childcare and how I don't want to hurt him (he's not got to the same point I have).
It's making me panic so much I can't sleep, I struggle to eat, I break down crying everyday I would do anything to go back to how we used to be but I know that's too late now, it's making me feel so guilty!!! Please help I literally have no friends or family I can trust enough to talk to

I would do anything to go back to how we used to be

Why can't you try to rekindle things?
Could you go to couples counselling and see if there is anything to salvage from this?

The fact he tells you that you nag and are 'easily stressed' are red flags.

Can you sit down and go through a list of all chores and things that need doing and split them properly.
So he has a difinitive list of what his responsibilities are.
I know you shouldn't have to do this. As an adult he should realise.
But sometimes just thrashing it out properly can help a lot.

Why would you advise somebody to attend counselling in the same post as identifying red flags for abuse??

OP I think that the panicky, sick feelings would be helped by seeing a counseller (alone).

Would separating mean giving up starting your degree?

Don't worry there's no abuse I can't actually afford regular counselling but perhaps a one or two alone would be a good idea.

It's more if I can't cope with how things are now will I be able to cope come starting my degree, I work part time, do all the household jobs and know full well he wouldn't take these things up when I go to uni. If I start my new life away from him now I will have a chance to adjust whereas if I wait till then things would be too hard to completely change my life. Well that's what's worrying me, things haven't been good for years we have gone through promising each other we will change and nothing ever happens it feels far too false

If you imagine separating now, before Uni, how does that feel?

Liberating, terrifying, horrible, I don't want to hurt him, I love him but I know I'm not in love with him, however cliche that sounds!!

"it's breaking my heart when I think about how upset my daughter will be, how I'll have to move, how I'll struggle with childcare and how I don't want to hurt him "

If something's worth having then it usually involves some sacrifices. What upsets children more than parents in separate homes is living in an environment of hostility and unhappiness. Many couples, when they put the DCs first, can make a happier family under two roofs than they can under one. Moving house is a disruption but it's do-able. Childcare needs planning but plenty of lone parents find ways to make it work. As for hurting him, that's unavoidable. A good relationship is meant to be two equal parties - not one having their feelings protected while the other is miserable as sin.

The scariest things are the ones you don't know about. So do some research, make some plans, have a clear idea about what happens next. Then bite the bullet.