Feel different about my friend

[HouseofEliot]

I went with my friend last night to a reunion from school. I was driving so wasn't drinking. My choice as I can take it or leave it. I was giving her a lift home. The place is miles from home.

She was drinking wine and was merry but ok. She went to the toilet and apparently was drinking shots. She then disappeared nobody could find her. Then the lads noticed one of the other lads was missing.

I called her mobile and they called his numerous times no response.

I didn't know what to do and was very worried about her.

I left 2 hours after she disappeared. She eventually rang me at 1 in the morning 3 hours after she disappeared. She had been with this lad the whole time.

She is married with 2 kids and so is he. I am disgusted with them both. For what they did and for ruining my night worrying about where she went. The reunion has been planned for a year.

We have been friends for 25 years but I feel different towards her now. She has begged me not to tell anyone. I don't know how to get over this. She has never done anything like this before it is so out of character. Am I wrong to be so upset or is it none of my business?

YANBU I can't bear hanging around for stuff like this; I hate being put in the position of cover story/alibi.

Forgot to say the place had closed so I would have had to wait in my car if I did hang around.

OP, you didn't do anything wrong. You tried your best to locate her but obviously she had ensured she wasn't contactable. What else could you do, she is a grown woman.

I think cabrinha's other advice is good though

Cabrinha may be onto something: if her marriage is really bad and she has not been able to talk to anyone this reunion may have been emotional for her and possible tapped into some need for some sort of drink-fuelled catharsis. Going off with random blokes when you are pissed, cheating on a spouse and leaving friends in the lurch are either the actions of someone supremely selfish or someone who is not at peace with themself.

I am not excusing her behaviour at all, and particularly not as regards you... But if it's out of character it's worth bearing in mind that she may be in a very bad place.

Hear what she has to say first. Her drink could have been spiked, anything.

there is nothing to be gained by anyone if the husband is told what happened.

sometimes the truth is overrated.