Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Short tempered date

21 replies

Liger123 · 19/07/2014 09:44

Was on a date last night with a man I've been seeing for a couple of months. Everything fine so far, but there was something that bothered me.

We were having a goodnight kiss and some (drunken) guy shouted "get a room" (how original). I laughed it off, but it made my date irrationally angry. He started swearing about how "people should mind their own fucking business" etc etc, and was advancing towards the guy who said it- had I not dragged him away there's a chance it would have got nasty. Minutes later he said "people like that need a punch".

I told him not to be so ridiculous and that the guy wasn't worth a reaction. However, after seeing this side of him, it's got me a bit worried. Apart from that he is lovely, it has really shocked me. He hadn't even had that much to drink (though that wouldn't have been an excuse).

Is it normal for some men to get on like this or should I run a mile?

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 19/07/2014 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

something2say · 19/07/2014 09:49

No that's not normal. It's a snap shot of what is to come.

I once went on an internet date. He was argumentative before we'd even ordered drinks. He was talking about what a horrible person his mother was and getting angry about it. Red flag I did not heed because he was massive and fit...

Two weeks later I could add....
Embarrassing controlling behaviour in front of my friends.
Shouting at me.
Asking if I had an eating disorder because I did not want to come for dinner as was seeing my friend.
Crawling across the floor after the shouting, saying 'Look!!! My body is lower than yours - not aggressive, not aggressive. Please don't leave!!!'

Run. Find another man!

NatashaBee · 19/07/2014 09:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marriednotdead · 19/07/2014 09:57

Run. If this is the honeymoon period, do you really want the marriage? Thought not.

Liger123 · 19/07/2014 10:09

Natasha he had three single G&T's- surely not enough to get a grown man drunk enough to act that?

Something that sounds dreadful! I must admit, he is very easy on the eye which may be clouding my judgement. It's not worth it though if he is acting like this so early into the relationship.

May just have to cut my losses... Thanks all

OP posts:
something2say · 19/07/2014 10:11

Terrible shame liger isn't it.
My guy was fantastic in the sack! But that argumentative personality, no way.
I can't bear men who fight in the street or are aggressive like that. No way.

Any more on the horizon?

louby44 · 19/07/2014 10:15

Definitely a red flag! Move on!

WildBillfemale · 19/07/2014 10:16

Not a sign of an easy going friendly bloke for sure - as someone above said the mask is slipping.......

Fairy13 · 19/07/2014 10:35

I can remember DH (we're now separated) on our third date, meeting me at the pub. He was irrationally angry about 'bloody portsmouth completely shit' because he couldn't find a PARKING SPACE.

On the next date he was in a strop because we went to the cinema and a man walked past with big arms - I looked at him too long.

Learn from my mistakes. Marrying that man was the most stupid thing I have ever done, I should have headed my gut. And brain!!

oldgrandmama · 19/07/2014 10:41

Oooh, he was drinking gin? My ex used to get VERY aggressive when he'd drunk the stuff. Anyway, he sounds like one to avoid.

MadeMan · 19/07/2014 10:44
NoArmaniNoPunani · 19/07/2014 10:49

No not good. When DH and I were first dating we had the exact same scenario where someone shouted get a room at us. We just laughed about it and got a room

YvyB · 19/07/2014 10:52

Run. I waited til I'd been thrown across a room but the red flags had been there had I wanted to see them. He's just shown you he thinks he's completely justified in acting aggressively in public. What do you think he'd be like behind closed doors?

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 19/07/2014 10:54

You've been seeing him for a couple months.. now (as another poster has stated) the mask is slipping. He's either feeling more comfortable showing you the "real" him or he cannot maintain the "nice guy" persona.

Run.

Minime85 · 19/07/2014 11:00

I'd have a proper sit down conversation with him about how it has made you uncomfortable and see how he reacts

JackAndGills · 19/07/2014 12:15

Run for the hills or soon he'll be shouting abuse in you face.

Dirtybadger · 19/07/2014 12:23

Don't bother with a sit down conversation. It's only been a few months, clean break- move on. Sounds awful and a complete over reaction. It will only get worse!

flatbellyfella · 19/07/2014 12:38

How long before he turns on you?

aylesburyduck · 19/07/2014 13:05

When I met STBXP he had a strop on date 1 because a male friend text to see if I was free for a coffee the following day. I looked at my text because he said, "Grin oooh that'll be a friend checking to see if you're okay"

Date 2 he accused me of still being active in a dating site, cue my frantic denial and a further sulk

...fwiw I have no bloody idea why I didn't run for the hills at this point...

A very considerable time later I left with my self worth in absolute tatters. His behaviour may be a one off but it has made you question it and very often it us our gut we should listen to rather than the apologies, excuses blah blah blah that come after the event.

NatashaBee · 19/07/2014 13:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FabULouse · 19/07/2014 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page