No friends!

[thisisnow]

Just wondering if other couples have this problem. I have very few friends of my own (maybe 3?!) as over the years people have moved on to different places etc. I work in a male dominated environment too which makes it harder to make friends at work. Also dp works with only one other person so he is not inundated with friends... he's not that bothered however and is quite satisfied with just having one or two friends.

We get on fine just the two of us and are happy to go and do our own thing independently aswell, I have no problem going out on my own and so on. But I can't help but feel down about the fact that we don't have a big group of friends. My brother and sil have hundreds and seems like they are going to a wedding every other weekend, or going to dinner parties etc, whereas me and dp end up in the pub just the two of us.

I have given up on social media a long time ago as I found it just made me feel even worse about things, stupid I know.

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat? How do you make friends as an adult without looking like a knob? Maybe we need to put ourselves out there more?

We're pretty much the same as a couple, complete with the very sociable in-laws. It used to upset and shame me, but not really now.

Excluding the fact that you are comparing yourselves to others... Are either of you genuinely bothered about this?
If you are both happy then there is no need to worry.
People who have large numbers of friends are often referring to what I would call acquaintances. Friends are definitely about quality not quantity for me. I have a few very good friends and a larger number of acquaintances. My DH is less sociable than me but happy to tag along but would never instigate a social event. Like you we often find ourselves in the pub (just the two of us) and having a bloody good evening!
No idea if any of this is helpful.....
I am also very proactive in losing contact with "negative friends"/"frenemies" - life is just too short!

It does seem to get harder as you get older.

How about volunteering? You can pick an activity/organisation that interests you. You then automatically have something in common with the people you're spending time with. This is a good website www.do-it.org.uk/.

Thanks for the replies, I guess you are right Hugh about the acquaintances thing, and I'm a nightmare for comparing myself to others it's a constant habit with me that I need to stop doing. And Vivacia glad to hear others are in the same boat (sorry if that sounds bad! ) and glad to hear that it doesn't bother you anymore.

foreverforaging thanks for the link I have already found something in my area I could volunteer for, maybe I just need to put myself out there as I said!

DP isn't bothered really he is happy with one or two good friends rather than a big group he says.

Which bit about it all bothers you thisisnow ?

I don't know really maybe the fact that we don't get invited to things or go away on group holidays/days out that kind of thing. I know it's stupid playground stuff really feels like we're a couple of loners. I think there will come a point where it doesn't bother me anymore, hopefully!

Saying that a friend went on a group holiday to a villa about 20 of them and said they ended up arguing the whole time so maybe it's sometimes better just the two of you.. you can't win hey.

I'm the same op. DP and I are young parents and the only ones out of our friends to have kids. After DC1 was born, I lost touch with all my friends. DP still has loads of friends but they are all single men in their twenties so obviously don't really do the whole wedding/dinner party/days out thing. I know exactly what you mean. I see the other people doing these things and I do feel I'm missing out.

Try and not let it get you down dalmationstripe I used to spend so much money keeping up with friends going on nights out, festivals etc, and it was never even that good...

I think we always feel like we're missing out when in reality we're probably not. Like the social media stuff people only show the best parts of their lives.