30, single, lesbian…broody..family back in america.

[candyce83]

I don't really know how to start this off other then Ive been noticing all the happy families on Facebook, etc…and its really made me want a family of my own. My problem is my situation. I am 30, on a pretty low wage, single and lesbian. My family lives back in America so it would seem if I were to have a child on my own, id have next to no support. Moving back home isn't an option.

Ive also come to the realization that while not old, im no spring chicken and I guess my bio clock is ticking. I just don't really know what to do about this. I really want a child as I know id make an excellent mother but feel so frustrated by my circumstances. I don't want to end up as a mother on benefits. Its actually making me wish I was straight so the odds were slightly more in my favour. Guess what Im asking for mnetters is some guidance or some perspective. Please help me!

Firstly I don't think being a lesbian has anything to do with this - as they say where there's a will there's a way. Which do you think is the biggest issue for you - single, no children, away from family, low wage? Children are not a magic way of fixing things but it is very rewarding being a mum.

BTW you don't need lots of family support - I had 3 DC's near family and the last on the opposite side of the world from them. There was very limited support when we lived near family. At least with the last DC there was no 'hoping we'd get some help' - we just got on with it.

You are still young. You have lots of time to meet someone, get married and have children with her.

I guess my issue is Id want better for my child than what I could provide for her right now. Im in a profession thats one of the lowest paid though i do love my job. I just don't know where to go from here…I think the thought of being a sahm on benefits makes me feel useless.

My desire for a child is just that, not as a means to fix myself, i just love children and i guess i see all these mums on Facebook and am jealous of how lovely it seems. I have just come out of a bad relationship with a woman with 2 children and they brightened up everything. Maybe Im just grieving over the loss of them but I know ive always wanted kids.