Feeling downright miserable.

[Ohbollocksandballs]

Have posted before about arsehole partner, but took him back against all advice.

He's decided to walk out again this morning, not after calling me every name under the sun, saying he'd be embarrassed to leave the house if he looked like me etc.

Stupidly I'm devastated he's gone. But I know I shouldn't let him back.

Bit of backstory, we've been together a few years, 6mo DS, he's been a twat for quite some time. Disappearing all weekend, texting other women (Definitely hasn't cheated but may as well!), calling me names, shouting etc. He works and I am a SAHM. This of corse means the house must be spotless and I have no right to say I'm tired!

Feeling pretty damn shite.

I'm sorry you feel so bad and that you realise you made a mistake last time. That's the trouble with letting poor behaviour go and giving people the benefit of the doubt. Usually comes back to bite you. Suggest this time you start thinking like an independent woman and plan that he's not going to be in the picture any more.

Do you have people you can be with IRL? Someone to talk to?

Yes, my family all live very local and a friend has been over to check that I'm ok.

I find it pretty difficult to talk about IRL without getting upset. Taking everything I have not to ring him. I'd probably just get told to fuck off until he realises he doesn't have anywhere to go.

Main thing that upsets me is potentially having to be apart from DS, if he even wants contact.

You having to be apart from DS or him? I doubt a man as miserable & insulting as you describe is going to be too keen to look after a baby, do you? I wouldn't worry too much about contact. Focus on being with people who actually like you, getting your confidence back, sorting yourself out financially and practically. Plenty to be getting on with

From DS.

I miss him terribly at the minute but I know it will pass. Bloody soon I hope. He's apparantly 'going out on the pull' this weekend. Lovely.

You're not going down a nice life path with this man. You're on a merry go round. And that means each time you take him back you will start the merry go round again and the end result will be the same each time. Until you finally want to get off the damn thing life will IMO be pretty crap.

There's going to be no happy ending here. I know you love him blah blah but each time you let him back your just shovelling yourself a serving of heartache.

Is the house yours? Do you work and rely in him for childcare?

quite totally agree. It's walking away from the shitty fairground I find difficult.

tiffany house is mine yes, no he works, I am SAHM

You don't want to be with a partner that goes on the pull with other women. You know that. Now you have to take steps to keep him away.

He's abusive btw so I would maybe call women's aid. You think you love him but he's done a number on you to keep you hooked. Addicted perhaps... Love...no!

Your life will be million times better once he isn't in it. Give it a bit of time and you will feel better honestly.

I was thinking what he was doing was abuse, but then felt a bit like I was over reacting.

Spoken to him, apparantly he's moved back into his mums and he hasn't loved me for a while.

Devastating to hear.

You realise the bit about 'hasn't loved you for a while' is just him sticking the knife in where it hurts? He had no reason to say that to you except out of sheer spite. Sorry you're upset but he doesn't sound worth a candle.

I know he isn't worth it but it's still shitty to hear. He's asked to take DS unsupervised for a few hours tomorrow. I've said no, not sure if I'm being unreasonable.

Anything you say at the moment is reasonable, frankly.

But this is the start of the best of your life.

I would certainly not let him have ds tomorrow. He needs to calm down to start with and stop insulting you.

Secondly, you only have his word that he's at his mother's house. You cannot be certain.

Thirdly, if he thinks you are a shit person and an embarrassment, then you could fairly argue that he believes your ds should be living with him not you - and that logically therefore, you cannot trust him to return your ds.

Fourthly but also firstly if you know what I mean, get some access agreement drawn up through a solicitor.

Play hard ball with this rude bully.

I know he isn't worth it but it's still shitty to hear. He's asked to take DS unsupervised for a few hours tomorrow. I've said no, not sure if I'm being unreasonable.

Whoops not sure why that's posted twice!

Brilliant advice on here. Will speak to a solicitor in the morning. If he wants to play silly fuckers he can feel free.