Do you have many friends in real life?

[TalisaMaegyr]

It's only been in the last couple of years that I've realised that I prefer my friends that live in the internet

I've had friends.. I have friends. A couple of people that I could call at 3am in an emergency, you know. But I feel like I don't feel about them the way that I'm supposed to - and I prefer my own company, tbh. I'm probably quite a shit friend, but I am always there for someone if they need me, I'm a very kind person iykwim.

I get all the personal interaction I need from my kids and dp, and I prefer socially interacting with people online.

Does that make me weird? I see pics on FB etc of people with their bestie, and I sometimes wonder if I'm missing out.

Apologies for the navel gazing!

I don't really have many friends IRL I have friends on various forums where we speak each day but I know I can put down and leave for a couple of weeks without feeling guilty.

I have one close friend IRL who I call/text a few times a week and meet up about 1 or 2 times a month. She has been there for me through thick and thin. I used to have another girl I considered a close friend but I have recently realised that I was the one doing all the running/making all the effort. I gave up on her about 2 months ago to see if she was prepared to make an effort with me. TBH, don't think she has even noticed.

DP and I are often invited to parties/dinners/double dates via his friends and his two best mates I consider my friends too now.

I would like to have more friends but in reality it is hard for me to maintain friendships due to my job and the lifestyle that comes with it and the extremely unsociable hours/days/shift patterns. My best mate understands that as she has the same job.

I have never had many friends since leaving school and initially I hated it. Now I am comfortable in my own company and often prefer being alone.

I don't think there's any set amount if friends you are supposed to have so as long as you feel loved and supported I would not sweat it.

Certainly I think a lot of people do vastly exaggerate the amount of "friends" they have, roping in a lot of people who are basically colleagues/acquaintances/hangers-on. And in any case what's right for one person bears no resemblance to what's right for another.

On the other hand it is very life-enriching to have one or two people IRL who you can count on. It sounds like maybe you are just not getting what you need from the "friends" you have... Maybe it's time to make new ones...

Nothing wrong with liking your own company.

My husband is my best friend.

Also close to my 3 siblings and parents although we're in different countries - I write to my parents once a week and speak on the phone every fortnight to 3 weeks and whatsapp my sibs every couple of days.

Very close to in laws who live really near.

Friendly with colleagues and 2 I consider actual friends. I'm a teacher and in general I don't really socialise with work colleagues.

One other friend who lives nearby, we met via otherd and got on well. She has kids too but different ages, sexes, schools - get on ok with mine but often we just meet as adults.

I have one lovely friend who I know would be there for me whatever. I have a few more that I would be there for whatever but honestly don't know if it would be there for me but not an issue.

I love my own company and irratate easily. Probably not fabulous friend material either.

Apart from my three children, two fabulous bury the body type friends one of whom I see about every two to three weeks and one about twice a year, two or three decently close and supportive friends if I want lunch or an evening out and a bunch of lovely acquaintances to chat with (usually via EM or social media). I'm happy with that. I NEED my me time and find more interaction than that stressful.

In fact I find myself pulling back when other people try and get closer. I go out quite a bit for work too and I am good at the social chat and even enjoy it, but I never stay a minute longer than I need to.

It has taken me the best part of thirty years to get past my ExH description of me as a boring social failure and realise that actually I am an introvert for whom a certain amount of solitude is essential self-care.

That said, I think I am a pretty decent friend. I make sure I stay in touch and suggest my fair share of social things.

I don't have one single friend.

I invested my whole life in to my husband and child.

I gave up girlfriends when I realised that anything I said to them was passed to their husbands.
Whereas anything they told me, stayed with me.

I did have a bad weather friend. That is one who only wanted to be around in times of crisis and good friend she was, or so I thought.

Turned out she aborted my husbands child.

Bloke here,
I've found as I get older I have few people I would call friends, and none I spend any time with, My wonderful wife and 3 great nearly adult/adult kids are the only people I have time to invest in, own business with unsociable hours makes it difficult, Also happy with my own company as well.

Also bloke. One corpsemoving mate, some acquaintances through my old sport and my large and entertaining family by blood and marriage. If friends are God's apology for relations, He didn't do too badly either way.

However, I cut out a "friend" 2 years back for insulting me in public, and my mental health improved no end.

I have one lovely friend and one flakey friend. My adult DD is the person i speak to most.

I have no 'friends' (Aspergers).

I used to think having a large group of friends was the ultimate display of being normal for the same reasons listed here - I'd look at Facebook and see my twenty-something friends all out in group photos, in stark contrast to mine - usually me, alone, or me and a dog or boyfriend. It took a massive great breakdown for me to see that the people I associated as friends were probably not, and those that I always considered as "old friends" were actually the ones who had bothered to stick around throughout my badly conducted life. I got rid of Facebook for starters.

I have one best friend (ring up at 3am in the morning, but would never actually do it) who I've known for over a decade. We weren't close throughout that time and it took time to get to this stage as we were both holding a lot of baggage. She's ace, and I love her (and her family) to bits. I always consider my Mum to be a good friend, as we genuinely can hang out almost anywhere without feeling the mother/daughter divide. I've got several online friends too, but I have less of an online presence than I used to.

I moved to another town with DP when we bought our house - DP grew up here but I didn't know anyone other than DP's family. Slowly, I've managed to build up a few friends - DP's best friend's wife who is lovely and a couple of people from work - although I don't know them well. The point was I didn't try too hard with them - in years gone by I was desperate to have friends and for people to like me, and now I concede that not everyone will.

DP is obviously a friend too - genuinely, as clichéd as it sounds, I wouldn't be with him unless I could completely be myself and laugh about the same things. My ex is also a good friend, although since I've moved we see less of each other (DP is completely happy about it, and has met exP several times and thinks he's great).

I have around 3 really close friends, including one neighbour - the other 2 I've known for over 30 years but neither live close enough to pop round to- we are 1-2 hrs away from each other.

I have about the same number of colleagues/ acquaintances who I see now and then.

DH is my 'best friend' but I have begun to worry increasingly how I'd fare if I was on my own ( we are older- DH is 60 soon) because I don't have enough girlfriends on the doorstep, and my parents and siblings live 100s miles away.