I've been married for six years. Prior to marriage, DH and I had been seeing each other on and off for four years (I had had other partners in between, I couldn't make up my mind on what I really wanted). Basically DH was my best friend but couldn't cope with me being with anyone else so I had to make a choice: either be with him as his partner, or stop seeing him altogether. It's a weird relationship by most people's standards, but it works.
Earlier this year, I massively messed up and had an affair (first time since we've been married). I asked for advice on here and realised just how stupid I'd been, so I stopped all contact with the OM.
A few months later DH went through my MN history and found the thread in question. He was devastated. We talked a lot and he came to the conclusion that he was willing to forgive me, if not forget it.
Things have been ok since then, from time to time he is grumpy because he's thinking about it, but he reassures me that he hasn't changed his mind.
Now, on to the issues I seem to be having. DH fancies a woman we work with (we work at the same place), I know this because we talk about our fantasies to each other, well, he talk about his fantasies with other women.
Next year, they (DH and OW) are going on a work trip together, with two other colleagues, but DH and the OW are the ones organising it.
We're on holiday at the moment but he has been very absorbed in planning this trip and sending lots of emails and a few texts to OW (and the two others involved, I assume).
He knows I'm a bit jealous, but says he'd never do something like that to me. He also said it just wouldn't happen as she's happily married (although she flirts with everyone, including DH), and anyway he wouldn't have the faintest idea how to go about it as he has no self confidence.
He's never been with another woman (never even kissed another woman), and if I hadn't jumped on him, he would probably still be single apparently.
He has very little self confidence, whereas I used to have plenty. I say used to, as since the affair I've put on a lot of weight and don't feel comfortable in my skin anymore. DH had also put on weight since we'd been married, but I didn't mind at all.
He's suddenly started dieting (first time since we've been together), and I now feel even less confident in my appearance (we were both chubby, I suppose it was reassuring not be be the only chubby one in the relationship). I asked him last night why he wanted to lose weight, he replied that it was to try and gain self confidence.
I have no idea what I'm hoping to achieve by posting this, maybe just some outside perspective.