Devasted, needy and insecure, what's wrong with me?!

[TWINKLETOE]

So, I started seeing someone who was going through a divorce. Not an ideal situation but we really get on and I think I've fallen in love with him. It's been about 5 months but the divorce saga still continues so he feels pressure from that.

I have started over the past couple of months to feel really insecure and needy and constantly need reassurance. I know that's a complete turn off but it's just me, I suffer with anxiety really badly.

Anyway, he had his daughter yesterday so I stayed away but sent him a few texts and he didn't reply which is unusual. I knew his ex was coming over to sort some things out so it made me really paranoid and I ended up sending him a lot of texts to which he didn't reply once all day or night. I hardly slept.

I went and saw him this morning (I know, a bad move and a little bunny boiler ish but I hardly slept). He said what am I doing and I said I wanted to know what was going on with us to which he replied 'you do this everyday and I just can't deal with it, I need calm' I said he was being unfair and he said he didn't want to see me this week (we've practically spent every day together so I'm in bits) and when I asked if he still wanted to be with me he didn't really say much.

I'm completely gutted and don't really have anyone to talk too. I wish I wasn't a needy person because I feel like I've pushed him away and it's all my fault, I've had to take the day off work tomorrow because I'm so worked up and I'm even crying whilst typing this.

We were supposed to be going to a wedding on Saturday but I guess that's a no no now. I just don't know where I stand and I hate it, it makes it worse because we work in the same building, luckily I hardly see him at work but I feel so devastated.

I am so glad I wasn't doing all this dating malarkey when it was so influenced by texting, FB and fuck all what else

In my day there one phone, with a lock on it, in the living room next to the telly where my parents could hear every word

and phone boxes

you made your arrangements for couples night out (Saturday) on the saturday before "Pick you up at 8" or whatever

if plans changed, you would simply call round (on your bike) or make one call to rearrange

this is madness innit

AF so true

I was exactly the same in the first few years of my current relationship....but I hid it. Would stress for hours about texts....if he texted late/not at all/not the usual time etc etc. Bloody texting!! He would never call, just text. Then I would read and re-read, reading stuff into his texts that were'nt there. A couple of times I told him I was irritated but never let on how much I stressed about it. As the years have gone by it has got easier - I suppose time has made me more secure in the relationship. I would back off and don't let him know you're stressing, even if you are climbing the walls. Maybe enlist the help of a good friend, one who can listen to your insecure ramblings with patience and understanding. It will help you I think. I wish you good luck OP

Has there been any developments op?