Please tell me what I already know

[opalescent]

Dp has been messaging another woman, again. He's hugely untrustworthy, as well as being extremely jealous and paranoid. After confronting him this time, he has left the house and not returned for 5 days. He says he's afraid to face me in case 'it's all over'. I know he's just hiding because he can never face what he's done. He doesn't have it in him to make amends, comfort me or try to explain himself. I should add that in this 5 days he's made no attempt to see our son. Give me the strength to turn my back and stop feeling lonely and rejected..

Stillloving, I logged into his social networking because I have reason not to trust him (see above). I didn't ever think I would be someone to snoop,but sometimes I feel he is slowly sending me mad. I'm not sure what you're getting at, I don't mean that to sound snippy.
Of course we are all entitled to private moments, but not necessarily if they involve suggestively messaging our partners friend?
I only saw the most recent messages (from that very morning) he had deleted the rest. But she obliged and sent me screenshots of the rest, whilst apologising for not having known 'how to tell me'.

Clearly then there's a serious problem if you don't trust him and it's got to this point, and I hope the two of you find the best possible way to manage this very difficult situation particularly when there's a child involved. And by that I mean that even if you divorce & it seems that may be one option for you, you'll still have to deal with him as he's the father of your child.

I'm so sorry it's like this. I'm not getting at anything further than what I said, I asked some questions because it's important to get a clearer picture of what's going on.

When you ask him to talk, he interprets that as you asking him to come back. You need to stop asking him to talk, draw a line, express anything you need to with those you can trust ([incl MN) and check out your legal rights. Also secure all necessary paperwork.

Yes, you are right standson, I shouldn't have asked at all, I am cross with myself. I start to feel very sad and alone, and this is when I weaken and press him, looking for some flicker of remorse or concern.
This is what I need to stop.

He and DS really should be the two shining lights in your life.

DP is more of a flickering unreliable old battery powered torch.

Whatever he's told his family you know the truth. So does he.

it sounds like when the sadness and loneliness hits you, you look to him to come and 'heal' you. this is perfectly understandable, only he can't heal you because he is the one hurting you. is there anyone else you can go to for comfort whilst this is still so raw?