I really don't know what to do. I am living with a real life Victor. Everything is a conspiracy, nothing is any good 'these days'. He hasn't worked in 15 years (retired very early on a good pension) but still not of OAP age, however has no regular contact with anyone outside the house and seems to be totally out of touch with modern ways and views. He's quite happy at home with his hobbies.
He used to be a controlling person (as in telling me I couldn't have a bike I wasn't allowed to join an Am. Dram. group, not wanting me to see friends etc.) but that seems to have improved since we discussed it and he even went for hypnotherapy for it. However, I still feel I can't do anything on my own, he has to 'advise' me how to do it. If I kick back and say I want to do it my way I am being argumentative and trying to control him! He will argue black is white at times and refuses to listen to reason or even documented proof! I end up so frustrated I lose it totally.
His idea of humour is sarcasm or taking the mickey to the extreme. He has offended everyone I know at some point when he first meets them usually. I have to go round behind apologising and explaining he doesn't really mean it.
I lost my job a couple of years ago. We were desperate for income but he refused to look for a job, just pushing me to try harder to get one. At that point I lost a lot of respect for him, but I hoped it would return but I still can't let go of it fully.
I work full time while he is at home but I still have to do most of the housework, even though he describes himself as a house husband. I arrange cupboards so everything fits but he refuses to put things away properly as he 'can't remember' even after 5 years! He empties the dishwasher and leaves a lot of it on the side for me, as he got fed up of me nagging (showing him how to put it away so it all fitted and didn't fall out).
He has a high functioning Down's syndrome adult son by his first wife whom he left when the son was 7 because he couldn't cope, he also has a slightly older son too. He sees the older son often but still cannot cope with his other son which I can't fathom as he is adorable and so loving.
When things are good they are great, but we are having major arguments every 6-8 weeks now as he drives me up the wall. We have always had a slightly rocky relationship but I was hoping time would improve things.
A bit of background, I moved in after only 6 months of dating. He is 15 years older than me. We have been together 5 years.
I just don't feel proud of him, is there any hope?