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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Heartly Fed Up

16 replies

Missfishandchips · 13/07/2014 16:36

Please, someone reassure me, that 11 days shy of my 30th birthday and and after being a single mother to my fabulous DD for 2 years, that I won't actually end up an old spinster who ends up being eaten by her cats??

I am feeling a bit sorry for myself after being spectaculary stood up for a second date by a guy who'd spent the entire week sending me upto about 40 texts per day to totally ignore me and stand me up.

I am actually happy as I am, however a sniff of the dating lark has got me re-interested in finding someone. I have just signed up to match.com, but I just think today I'm feeling very sorry for myself.

Someone please slap me! Grin

OP posts:
HumblePieMonster · 13/07/2014 16:38

30 is the new fourteen. You'll be fine. Your dd will grow up and continue to be a delight and you'll still be young and having fun.
Honestly.
It will be fine.
And get a cat flap. If they can get out to find a mouse or rabbit they won't need to....
No, you'll be fine. :)

holeinmyheart · 13/07/2014 17:16

Well my life has raced by( I am in my seventies) I can remember the day I was thirty and thinking I now had one foot in the grave. You will laugh, as I do now, at your present thoughts, when you are my age, because 30 is no age. You are young, vigorous and desirable, not someone who is a deaf, with painful limbs, and has milk bottle glasses on their face. So some loser has stood you up, so what! More fool them. You had a lucky escape as they were soo insensitive to treat another human being like they have you. A pox on them. Enjoy Match.com I have known many people who have met amazing people on it. Also keep going. Don't get disheartened as you need to meet lots and lots of men to find someone that you can relates to. Or it could be the first one you meet. I hope it is. Good luck!

PersonalClown · 13/07/2014 17:20

I thought the same. That I'd be alone. And I was happy with that. I have always been happy in my own company.
I met DP just before my 30th birthday. It will be 6 years this year. He may be a pain in the arse but he's My pain in the arse!

Original poster
Missfishandchips · 13/07/2014 17:21

I genuinely try and get so much out of life for me and my DD - we travel whenever we can (DD is only 4.5), I run a business, have a great social life and brilliant friends and family, and sometimes, it does get a little lonely by myself.

I've just had my confidence knocked a little bit. Ah here's to the next one!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 13/07/2014 17:29

Don't hook up with twatty men who send you 40 texts a day. Raising your bar with respect to what you will accept from relationships is a good start.

APotNoodleandaTommy · 13/07/2014 17:35

Hole, that was amazing :)

ivykaty44 · 13/07/2014 18:18

Forty text a day! Run a mile that's just obsessive weird behaviour

ROUNDandROUNDINCIRCILESMORETHA · 13/07/2014 20:16

40 texts a day. He'll be asking you to move in with him second date if you had met him think you had a lucky escape ;)

WhatsGoingOnEh · 13/07/2014 20:18

I LOVED LOVED LOVED Hole's message! Please re-read it a thousand times, OP, till it sinks in!

Your life sounds lovely. You're just having one of those days. Please make the most of your freedom now -- you sound so awesome, you'll be snapped up any day now and then miss the freedom! ;-)

Original poster
Missfishandchips · 13/07/2014 20:58

I'm actually going to bookmark this tread, so evertime I need a good kick up the harris, i'll re-read hole's reply! From the bottom of my heart I thank you all.

OP posts:
mustardtomango · 13/07/2014 21:00

40 texts a day would get stifling pretty quick anyway Smile

Have fun on match.com, and bring on the good'uns!

GurlwiththeCurl · 13/07/2014 21:07

I agree with hole too. I remember being really worried about approaching thirty, having just split up with a long term DP. But just a few months later, I met a great bloke, asked him out and we have now been married for nearly 30 years!

Oh, to be thirty again - enjoy your youth OP and best of luck.

MadeMan · 13/07/2014 22:52

30 is still young and you might meet someone or you might not.

However, I don't think that everybody does and I don't believe that it's something that is bound to just happen. There are probably lots of people who just settle for having someone rather than be alone.

BitOutOfPractice · 14/07/2014 04:17

Hole is 100% correct and I am a little bit in love with her too!

Of course it's easy for other people to say these things. But sometimes, when you've had a knock like you have, it's harder to believe.

Keep going op. Sounds like you're going great and it will all come good

CustardFromATin · 14/07/2014 05:03

Hole is amazing! And lucky escape from Mr 40 Texts, he probably remembered at just the last minute that he was married and just looking for some ego boosting from a gorgeous and desirable young thing like yourself Smile

Beautifulmonster · 14/07/2014 07:19

What a really lovely post from Hole. And she is so right.

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