First time after a year

[spongebobscardypants]

Ok, for many supposed reasons me n DH didn't have sex for over a year. We had a weekend abroad and he took it upon himself to instigate sex.... I refused and he pleaded with a promise of a return pleasure later that weekend! I got on with the task and now two weeks later, without a hug or a kiss feel like a tramp!!!! Was I wrong so try and make a go physically in our marriage?!

What are some of the reasons for no sex and why did you refuse?

To be fair, he was the one who instigated sex, got knocked back and had to talk you into it.... That doesn't exactly sound like you were making an effort to be more physical. Sounds like he was and you just put up with it. Have you tried to instigate anything since??

Oh good. I've tried to instigate for the past year! I feel so ashamed as the first time he was up for it I went with it..... Now he doesn't want to know sexually. I feel used

Why did you refuse on this weekend abroad?

'got on with the task'
'he pleaded...'
'promise of a return pleasure later that weekend..'

You weren't trying to 'make a go of it physically in our marriage'
He was.
He probably feels pretty exasperated having to plead and barter with his wife for sex on holiday after not having had it for a year.

If you love your H you would want him to be physically happy no? If there is no intimacy in your relationship don't be too surprised if he seeks out intimacy elsewhere.

You do come across as someone who has issues with sex.

What were the 'supposed reasons' you and DH didn't have sex for a year? By any stretch of the imagination, that's a pretty long dry spell. 'Getting on with the task' certainly makes it sound like a chore - and there's rarely a good argument for having sex with someone against your better judgement. Is the lack of intimacy symptomatic of more serious relationship difficulties? Are you both starting from the wrong end of the problem?