MIL problems

[Reddeb]

Hi does anyone else have a MIL who constantly creates drama, wants to be centre of attention, needs to be in control. Just to set the scene my family and I recently emigrated to Austrslia. Mil was v unhappy and blamed me entirely, not that her son had any part to play?! Now even being over the other side of the world she's still managing to spread her drama over here. She's been messaging me and I messaged her back with photos etc but just recently she's been sending lots of nasty messages and I just couldn't take it any more and deleted her from my contacts. The shit hit the fan, phone calls, threats to disinherit us etc I can't take it any more. She's driving me to a nervous breakdown all the way from the UK. Don't know what to do and don't want to destroy the family.

PTSD here on her part is just giving her a further stick to beat the two of you with. Her using that is a further insult to those who actually suffer from PTSD as well. I would read up on Narcissistic personality disorder and see how much of that fits in with MILs behaviour. All her behaviour including this now is typical of how narcissists behave including the threatening of disinheritance. Forget the cash, it is not worth it and it is not worth pursuing a relationship with these people.

Your FIL worships the ground his wife walks on, he needs someone to idolise and he has put her and continues to put her before the wellbeing of his own now adult children. He will not protect any of you from his wife. BTW does he go on about how supposedly wonderful she is?. If so that is also a form of gaslighting.

I'll have to read up on the narcissistic personality disorder. FIL either plays the innocent victim or says how wonderful she is. He did once tell me MIL was cute, I did think yeh cute like a Piranah fish!

Thanks for your advice, it has helped me at least feel that I'm not completely loosing my mind as I was beginning to think I was.

We've been in Australia for 9 months and at first loved everything about it. I think I've come to the end of the honeymoon period and I'm feeling quite low and this drama is really not helping.

could your OH have a secret written relationship with his dad?

Your a team, you have to approach this problem together just as you would any other problem. Sit down with a glass of wine and a pen and paper and make a plan. Decided what you are going to do together and then write it down and stick to it. Good luck, there is some very good advice on this thread :)

ivybeagle has a very good idea there. it helps a great deal to have a solid plan.

are you managing to build up some friendships at least? it does take time but it'll help ...

Ha ha oh yes being a total bitch this week
Told me why do i always have to look nice and do my hair and i shouldnt bother. So will be distancing my self now. Thinks she can have opinion on everything i do or what i wear or whatever ahhhhhhhhh