New relationship - moving onto the next step

[startingoveragain33]

Hi

I've been seeing a guy for a couple of months now, he is early nice, treats me well, and has been really patient with me, going at my pace.
We haven't slept together, but next weekend, he has asked me to go away with him for a new days, so the obvious is going to happen.

I feel ready for this, but I'm really nervous. I've only ever been with my ex and was with him since I was at school, so I'm not very experienced, not really sure if I'm doing things right IFSWIM.

I think he realises how nervous I am, and he does know I've only ever been with my ex, as he is always telling me how much he likes me and is prepared to go at my pace.

Can anyone give me any advice?

My advice would be to relax, enjoy the weekend, don't do anything you're uncomfortable with and put all doubts about whether you are satisfactory as a sexual partner out of your head. He's bloody lucky to have you as a girlfriend.... :) Instead of worrying whether you shape up, see if he meets your expectations instead. He may be a nice, patient man that treats you well but that doesn't mean you owe him anything.

The obvious is only going to happen if you are okay with it :)

1. BRING CONDOMS.

2. IF YOU HAVE SEX, USE THEM.

It takes two so don't feel enjoyment is all down to you. Try not to worry about what his expectations might be after all he will feel vulnerable too. A new partner can be inhibiting until you trust each other. Don't feel you have to fake pleasure to spare his feelings. Without making a running commentary say aloud or whisper what feels good as he touches you. And ask him now and then if this feels good or that is nice.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm not usually a shy person, but with him, I am. I really really want to progress things further, but I'm so nervous I think I will make a bit of a fool of myself.

he knows I get a bit flustered and a bit shy with him, and he does try to put me at ease. I can't imagine him being nervous, he just seems so confident. I just feel like a silly schoolgirl when I'm with him instead of a 33 year old!!!! Does that make sense to anyone?

Can I also say out loud to you all my other "thoughts" on him. I guess I'm thinking he seems too good to be true! He is an incredibly good looking guy, late 30's, treats me as if I'm the only girl in the world. He has been married before, no kids and he said the reason the marriage broke up was because of his job (he works away), and him and his ex just drifted apart. He has never said a bad word about his ex, and will say it was both of them that were at fault for not making the marriage work. I just think "nah, your not real, you must be hiding something" Am I picking holes?
My friends husband knows him and I've asked him about him, and all he said was he's a good guy, works hard, has had loads of girlfriends in the past after his marriage broke up.

My ex cheated on me and although I kicked him out and didn't give him any second chances, I was deeply hurt and I guess I'm just scared of getting hurt again.

"Am I picking holes? "

Not necessarily. You're being cautious, which is no bad thing and understandable if your last experience in a relationship was someone who ended up cheating. But please try to find some confidence. Reason being that whilst you cannot guarantee that someone won't cheat, if you come across as insecure and vulnerable, there is a risk of exploitation. So best to lose the shy schoolgirl thing, take him on face value but keep your eyes open at the same time.

Every one appears too good to be true two months into a relationship, in fact that pedestal watching can last a good couple of years.

He just sounds normal to me, and honest.

I'd also say try building up your confidence, being shy and reserved at 33 won't do you any favours, try being yourself and being assertive so he knows he won't be able to mess you about, he sounds nice though, just go with the flow and enjoy your time away.

And yes just because he's nice doesn't mean you have to do anything other than be yourself.