Little update on the situation.
So I went to court with my lawyer yesterday. XH chose not to have a lawyer and made quite a lot of interesting accusations against me, including the fact that I had fabricated the death threat, by getting someone to read a script I had written.
That I had a urino-genital disease (herpes) that caused me to turn crazy!
He asked for a whole lot of extra things - including 10 extra weekends with the kids, money etc.
My lawyer gave a summary of the situation and why I didn’t give him the kids, but she was very brief. Her advise to me was that she was going to rattle EX’s cage and let him dig a hole for himself. And that above all I was to keep my trap shut.
I’d have to say the plan went pretty well. He came off looking like a nut job - he talked about having the right to punish the children as he saw fit - and as he isn’t using a cat-o-nine-tails with bits of flesh being ripped off the children (giggling like the insane as he described this) so what was the the problem? He explained that when the girls were being tested on their times tables, for example, if they made a mistake they had to go and pull up 10 weeds. I’m not sure why he found all this so funny but he really did a fair impression of being beyond nuts.
The judge explained that I could keep not producing the children, and there was almost no chance of the police turning up to take them off me to return them back to him. And that while I will have a criminal record, the impact on my life would actually be very small. And he can keep making complaints against me but that wouldn’t change anything.
The judge talked about him seeing the children in a centre with professional people and that shouldn’t be seen as a failure, but as an opportunity to learn to talk to the children in an appropriate manner.
The judge kept explaining to Eric that I hadn’t asked for his rights to be removed, I hadn’t accused him of anything, I just didn’t think it was in the girls interest to be with him. That I fully assumed the fact that I have broken the law and I would take the punishment coming to me.
The judge explained to XH that it wasn’t up to the children to tell him I had a new partner - and that he had created a damaging conflict of loyalty. And they certainly didn’t deserve to be punished for not telling him.
At the end the judge asked to hear the recording of the phone call where XH made a death threat. He had no choice to admit that it was indeed him on the recording. When the judge asked what was the connection between me and Mr Y (the person XH talks about in the recording) he said he was an ex-con, that he had been “helping” but who has since gone back to prison after destroying his ex-partners house with acid. The judge said that must not be very reassuring for me. And asked why exactly XH thought he was competent to help such a person, and have such a person in his house with the children.
My lawyer seemed to think he was shocked by hearing the death threat, but I wasn’t looking at him. He immediately said he was going to withdraw the complaint against me, but my lawyer pointed out that unfortunately that was now impossible.
It seems likely that the judge will say that for the moment he will have to see them in a centre in Saint-Lô, probably for 2 hours every 2 weeks, which while it isn’t the long term solution I would have liked at least gives us all a bit of breathing room.
The judge has given the children the right to have their own lawyer, who they are meeting tomorrow morning at 10am, before their audience with the judge at 11am. I don’t think I will be present for either part, as the idea is to hear what the kids actually want in an unbiased atmosphere. So obviously it could all go tits up tomorrow anyway, but the girls seem pretty firm in their decision.
So once again fingers crossed and good vibes please.