Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Do you regret who you lost your virginity to ?

105 replies

HilariousInHindsight · 08/07/2014 22:04

Was on the thread with the 5 questions about when virginity was lost , when moved out etc and it got me to thinking if you regret who you lost your virginity to or even not the person but the timing/place.

I was quite scared of my ex so I do regret losing my virginityto him at 17. Wish it was my current partner at 18.

For those who do regret it I hope you have found someone better and/or are happy with your life now.

OP posts:

ThedoublelifeofDollyBrown · 08/07/2014 23:37

No. He was really lovely, and my first long term boyfriend.

happystory · 08/07/2014 23:41

Well he certainly wasn't the one, just a lad I liked a lot at the time. I regret I was quite young, 15, sorry - very young, but it was consensual and he was similar age and there was no harm done (thankfully) can't regret how you felt/acted all those years ago....

ElephantsNeverForgive · 08/07/2014 23:51

No, I'm still married to him.

But I would have loved to have fucked a certain other lad first. If pubs had condom machines....

Would purely have been sex, he didn't understand why I wanted to go to Uni. He would have been totally unfaithful and eventually returned to is awful GF. But would have been fun all the same.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 08/07/2014 23:52

Yes I am that old, AIDs etc was just as I went to collage.

curiousgeorgie · 08/07/2014 23:52

No... He was my crush for a long time and it's a fantastic memory and a brilliant story

I'm totally in love with my DH but I wouldn't want to take that very surprising evening away from myself

OvertiredandConfused · 08/07/2014 23:56

Yes, sadly. I was just 16 and felt very pressured by a 20 year old. Don't regret my other sexual relationships and experiences pre DH, just the first.

minipie · 08/07/2014 23:58

No. He was my first proper boyfriend - relationship later ended after he started acting like a dick, but at the time I really liked him and it was the right time for me to start having sex.

(prefer the idea of "starting to have sex" to "losing my virginity")

olaflikeswarmhugs · 09/07/2014 00:06

No it was with dh and he was lovely . I was 15 he was 17 . We had been going out about a year and we went out for another 2 years after that . It's the sexual partners I had in the few years we were broken up that I regret but what's done is done and everything has worked out brilliantly now so in answer to the actual question asked no I don't regret it at all .

Popper208 · 09/07/2014 00:07

No, it was awful in every sense of the word, I was 15, the boy was 17, I don't even think we were "going out" it was one of those utterly spontaneous events that as an adult you can see and want to stop, but as a child you just want to prove a point! It was on a golf course, I was supposed to be walking the dog, who was tied to a tree and barking!! And weeks later, I found out that my paedophile step-father had witnessed the whole thing and used it to taunt me for many years later! Utterly disgusting and absolutely pointless!!

HillyHolbrook · 09/07/2014 00:51

I don't 'regret' it but it wasn't what I had in mind. It was to DP at either 15 or just turned 16, and we had waited 9 months because we thought our virginity was a magical thing, and when it came to the big romantic moment when we had a free house and a lot of build up, the poor soul got too 'excited' before he'd even touched me IYSWIM so it ended up being the first of many a quickie on the living room sofa the next day. Totally took the pressure off though!

His parents still have that sofa. It makes me feel immoral seeing his elderly parents sat in our 'spot'

maras2 · 09/07/2014 01:07

No.I married him.Still together 45 years on.

CillaBlacksOrangeBouffant · 09/07/2014 01:08

Yes. It was a mini cab driver and when he finished he said you're not what you were. Cunt. I was 17 and very naive/sheltered.

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 09/07/2014 03:36

No ... I went out with him from the first week of uni until I left uni. Some difficult times in those years occasionally but an interesting relationship.

Some of the best sex I've had for sure. Could do with more of it.

FolkGirl · 09/07/2014 06:41

Nah. Wouldn't be interested in him now. But he'd be 60 now so...

It's only sex.

GertieFinkle · 09/07/2014 06:47

No, he was my first love. Lovely bloke (but we are thoroughly incompatible), dh and I still good friends with him and his wife. DS did ask me if I had any boyfriends before dh the other day and I said yes, when he asked who I sidestepped as I don't want dc knowing I slept with 'uncle thingammy'

CogitoErgoSometimes · 09/07/2014 07:03

It's a bit of a daft thing to regret really. You make a choice at the time - good, bad or indifferent - based on circumstances. The alternative would be that you'd have to be 100% sure about the other person and have a crystal ball to judge the future before kissing goodbye to your hymen. Finally, you can't go back and un-shag them... what's done is done. Regrets solve nothing.

GenuinelyMaryMacguire · 09/07/2014 08:14

Even as an older woman who has never had casual sex, and has been very circumspect about whom to take as a lover, the thing I notice about virginity is how little it matters once you've lost it.

My first lover was the man I married - and divorced. I don't regret it - I was thinking about it only last night, actually. I was his first, too and we were both eighteen. I lost my virginity in a Mercedes Benz car - young people lived with their parents in those days, the car was the only privacy we had. I think we'd known each other about six weeks. He told me he loved me when he'd known me three weeks - if there's been a MN in those days I'd have recognised that as the red flag it truly was.

But I don't regret having sex with him. It had to be done, we did it. Later, we married and had a baby. And divorced. And were much happier.

LividofLondon · 09/07/2014 14:58

No. It was crap as he thought foreplay involved tweaking my nipples for a few seconds before trying to push his cock into my dry fanny even though he said he'd "fucked hundreds of girls" so I didn't need to worry I was 16, he was 18, and I think in hindsight probably just as inexperienced as I was.

I don't regret it though. It wasn't deep and meaningful and it didn't need to be; I just wanted to find out was sex was all about. It was just as crap the second time, and he was a bit unreliable, so I dumped him. Onwards and upwards. Thankfully I've always thought sex was just a fun thing that adults do rather than attach lots of emotion to it, otherwise I might have wished I'd waited until I found a better man.

tilliebob · 09/07/2014 16:25

It was to my DH. Yes that makes me very old fashioned and unimaginative blah blah but I love it. We managed to have 3 kids together and have a fantastic sex life so I think we managed to figure it out

BlueKarou · 09/07/2014 16:41

No.

Ok, he turned out to be a bit of a twat, actually make that a lot of a twat. But it happened at a time and in a way that was very much right for me.

Dharmalovesdraco · 09/07/2014 16:54

Yep massively. And in response to someone up thread, not all of us made a conscious decision. He was older than me and someone that I'd 'got off with' (such a nice turn of phrase) on occasion. He walked me home things progressed and without any prior conversation or discussion he pushed my underwear to the side and shoved himself in me. I just remember thinking 'is this it? Is this what I was waiting for?' I was very nearly 18 and I wanted my first time to be with someone I loved and cared about, and who felt the same about me. The whole episode had a massive impact on my self worth. Ugh even writing about him makes me want to smack him upside the head with an iron bar.

cafesociety · 09/07/2014 17:08

No, not at all and I was his first too. We married, had 2 sons but sadly not with him now. He was gentle and a very decent bloke.

Met a lot of idiots since.

upyourninja · 09/07/2014 17:16

Yes. I was 18, he was 32. I was very overwhelmed by initiation drinks at university and he (and others) got me so drunk that I was practically non-responsive. Certainly too drunk to consent. It was outside, and shit. I certainly regret not managing myself better but I think he was an asshole to do that to a clearly very inebriated woman.

It took me a long time (years) to get over it and I made some very stupid choices immediately thereafter.

If I'd only waited 4 months, it could have been my lovely (now) DH instead.

myusernameis · 09/07/2014 17:22

Yes - because he told people (proudly) that he'd 'taken' my virginity.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 09/07/2014 17:23

No, he was very catholic and held out on me for ages!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread