self harm

[delicatematter]

Hello, i have posted about my DH situation with his uncle before now.

The update is that we are waiting for the officer in charge to visit us to go through our options, (he has been on sick leave for the past 4 weeks), DH is now off work sick with depression/anxiety.

At the weekend i was talking with my sister in law and she told me that she had seen her cousin (Uncles daughter) and that she had cuts up her arms when she asked her what they were she told her that she cut herself
So i told DH this and he immediately confronted his sister and dad, FIL has told DH tonight to F**K counselling and the police, forget about what has happened and get on with your life, you have your wife/dad/sister to talk to , your uncle will deny it and you probably will lose at court.
DH said that he now understands that his dad isnt going to back him up, i myself think that there is more to it than this, DH says he,s phoning the police tomorrow and demanding to be seen by another officer as he has been waiting too long.

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Damn! That's so awful. "Forget about what has happened"??? WTF!!! How can you just "forget"?
Were FIL & Uncle sexually abused as kids - and that's what they've done (except uncle has become an abuser)?
Tell your DH to keep strong. Something must be done to bring this to light.

so what happened with the police? are they going to get a move on now?

so sorry this is happening, and everything seems to be conspiring to make it harder.

oh no! DH is right to make contact with the police again. FIL sounds like a bit of an idiot...(although i wonder whether he scared too....?)

I have been thinking for a while that somethings not right with FIL.
I dont think that he,s the same as uncle, rather the other way that something has happened to him as a child and he has covered it up.
DH mum (who we dont see any more) told me that FIL,s dad was a voilent man and that FIL was scared of him and that he was very clingy to him mum when she was alive.
FIL is great with kids but very very soft, he cant stand it when any of the grandchildren cry, he rushes to them straightaway, he,s like DH in this regard, DH cant stand to hear DD cry, it has caused arguments in the past but now i understand why he,s like this and the more i think the more i think that FIL is the same.

My counsellor said that victims of abuse a lot of the time end up being abused as adults by their partners, FIL girlfriend is horrible to him, we cant understand why he stays with her, she emtionally and mentally abuses him, DH thinks the same as me but says that he (FIL) would probably never admit it.
I saw my counsellor yesterday and told her and she said that for FIL all this is probably too painful and that is why he is encouraging DH to not do anything.

that sounds right tbh. it hasn't made sense up til now why he's in denial about it, but maybe that's the explanation.

glad you're getting help too.