Feeling pretty low right now

[ConfusedAndUnwanted]

Have been with my DP for 1 year and 2 months. Our relationship up to now has been pretty amazing. Regular sex, laughs and fun and lots of love.

Something changed about 4 months ago, DP put on a lot of weight and became self conscious and now sex is pretty much non existant.

It's not even that I miss the enjoyment of sex so much, it's more the connection and the fact I feel unwanted because of the rejection. I say rejection, I have given up trying.

We discussed it very briefly about 2 months ago and she said she still wants to have sex with me but we have gotten into a "slump". Not sure what that means.

We have just moved in together and I am realising that it is way to soon. I'm sad that this may be the end of things. It is extremely unlikely that there is anyone else. A) I trust her B) She never goes out (she only has a very small group of friends C) Her phone and iPad are always readily available with no lock. I have never looked at her phone btw.

I am too scared to make a move now. Last night she came to bed naked which she never does and was being extra cuddly, I didn't make a move because I seem to have developed a massive complex now where I imagine myself to be pestering her if I do.

I just dont know how to solve any of this. I love her and want to be with her. She just seems emotionally unavailable.

Anyone been through this or similar?

Whose idea was it to move in together? Who moved in with whom? Sex aside, are you affectionate with each other, have a lot in common, share jokes? You say you feel rejected, disconnected and unwanted....

This kind of thing normally happens to people who have either been together for so long they take each other for granted or there's been some big upheaval or trauma that has knocked things sideways. You've only been seeing each other for just over a year and the problems started after just 10 months. Maybe things have just run their course?

We got a place together, a house came up (housing association, she was on the list from several years ago) that we both loved and just couldn't resist. In general we get on really well, identical sense of humours, we laugh so much and kiss and snuggle etc. We get on great and make a good team, never really argue, issues (apart from this one!) are sorted out instantly/or at least talked about.

If you laugh, kiss and snuggle etc why do you say you feel rejected, disconnected and unwanted?

The sex thing

Kissing is just a kiss on the lips, no snogging

Feels like the sexual side to our relationship has vanished for whatever reason

So there's no intimacy in the kissing and snuggling. Are you saying you feel like a friend rather than a lover? Do you feel you've been duped into the relationship under false pretences... something like that?

I am starting to feel more like a friend to be honest.

I don't know whether I would say duped..

I'm just not sure anymore. I don't think she was ready to move in together but didn't want to miss out on the house so kind of rushed things.

I know you say you love her but you can love all kinds of people and they don't necessarily make good life partners. If it's not working for you it's time to have a conversation and, as I always put it, 'more in sorrow than in anger'. Don't attach any blame. Don't say 'I'm going because I don't get sex often enough'. Just that it's not working out the way you thought it would. It's a pity when that happens but it's a bigger pity to waste time and stay miserable when you could be moving onto the next phase of your life.