Proposal opinions?

[Princejoffyjaffur]

Hello

I am looking to propose to my girlfriend and would like some opinions.

Do I:

Do it on her birthday morning (we are flying to a holiday destination on her birthday)
Wait until we are there with a bottle of champagne, etc?
Wait until (or orchestrate) a 'perfect moment' at a nice dinner or whilst walking on the beach, etc.?

Also, would you prefer a 'proper' ring to be given or would you prefer a 'token' ring and a promise to buy one together that she can pick? I know her tastes reasonably well, but I think she would like it if we could pick the ring together.

Any opinions gratefully received!

I'd go with option 3 and a token ring.

Do it in the morning of her birthday so you can get on and enjoy your holiday without faffing about finding the 'perfect moment' (bit of a cliche imo)

And give her a token ring - you've just said she'd like it if you picked the 'real thing' out together so, you know, do that!

Hope it goes well!

Hey Prince,

I think for the timing issue doing it the morning before travelling is a bad idea - you guys will inevitably need to be rushing around preparing for the travel, so you wouldn't get any time to "enjoy" the proposal.

I think doing it once you have arrived is a nice idea.

When you guys have done the check in, got to the room and ditched your stuff, you could ask if she wants to take a shower before getting ready to go for dinner. Once she's in the bathroom you order up some champagne from room service and ask her when she gets out the bathroom in her robe? It's a bit low key, so depends on your girlfriend. That way you can pre order more champagne at the restaurant for when you eat out to celebrate :D

I wouldn't advise asking in a restaurant - there are loads of women who would be really embarrassed at the public attention, so it's better not to risk it.

I also really like the idea of doing it on a post dinner walk along the beach. That would give you privacy, a nice memory, etc. Just make sure it's somewhere light enough that she can see you getting down on one knee!!

The only problem with this option is that it puts a lot of stress on you trying to find "the right" spot to propose in. One of my friends got dragged half way across London when her boyfriend proposed because he couldn't find "the right" spot. She was about five minutes away from getting a taxi home on her own when he finally asked!

Finally on the ring question, I'm afraid no-one here can answer that - it completely depends on your girlfriend. Hopefully if you are considering proposing, you know her well enough to judge whether she would prefer you to pick the ring, or to have a say in choosing one.

For example, my fiancé chose my ring on his own, and I was really touched at the effort and thought he put into it - and he chose exactly what I would have chosen, so it proves how well he knows me. Of course, I would have accepted the proposal even if he proposed with an onion ring, but it did mean a lot to me that he chose the ring. Other women would have hated not having any input.]

It depends utterly on her.

What are the two of you like at travelling? On the first day of a holiday I am basically annoyingly stressed and a proposal on that day while I would overall love it would probably end up with me accidentally saying the wrong thing . Your girlfriend may be more normal though :)

Definitely do NOT ask her in the middle of a restaurant, agreed! Tacky, tacky, tacky.

I quite like option 2 and I would get her a ring, even if it's not what she would pick it's more personal because it's chosen by you.

Yes, I agree that a restaurant isn't the best place.

What about the hotel room? Would that be a possible option? Not crowded and no travel right after.

I'd go for sunset on her birthday if you're there on time. Be brave - get the ring!

Yes ??

Definitely not on her birthday. That's already a special day for her, proposing on another day gives her another one:)

That's also true.

Choose a ring! Do it in hotel bedroom - that we she can have a little weep and still re-do her makeup, or call her parents, or you can have a celebratory youknowwhat.

Why would it be a better idea to choose the ring when the OP has already said he knows that his gf would prefer to pick it out herself?

'So she can have a little weep and re-do her makeup'. Really???

Sometimes I feel like I live on a different planet to most MNers

Oh I didn't see that bit. Ok give her a nice cheaper one that she can wear as a going-out ring that evening. Bit of costume jewellery, or even a modern one with a cheerful ceramic flower on it etc.

What?! I cried when DH proposed. It was romantic and moving! I would have HATED to be out in public.

I agree it should be in private, nothing worse than a flashy public proposal!

I really like the idea of a morning proposal - as others have said, maybe not if you're both going to be stressed about travelling, though? but what about the next morning, when you wake up for the first time in your hotel?

I think it really depends on her personality, I'm very low-key and hate attention, so I would much rather have a sweet informal proposal. But some girls would probably prefer a luxurious setting and an audience to share the good news with. No wrong answer here, you're the one who knows her best!

Also voting for the token ring. It's what I would want. (plus you get to go hunting for the "real" ring together, and that's fun!)

Good luck!!

Token ring, post-dinner walk along the beach, and how lovely!
Have a wonderful time and I hope it goes well for you!

token ring and on a quite area of the beach soo romantic good luck

I liked that my DH chose the ring. I love it, he chose perfectly. I feel like choosing it together afterwards then having to wait for it, wouldn't have been the same.

If you do buy, don't go high street. Go to a jewellery quarter or somewhere and haggle round the shops.

Don't propose in a restaurant. Wait til you're on holiday and go for the beach, somewhere quiet.

thanks all! I appreciate all opinions. :0)

I like the token ring idea. She is (hopefully) going to wear the ring everyday for the rest of her life. She may pretend to like it to be nice/out of guilt and be stuck with a ring she doesn't like for the rest of her life.

So Prince - have you decided what you're going to do after seeing the opinions of Mums net?

If it helps, I think unless the man is a total dick, or the woman is super high maintenance and generally a nightmare, it's very difficult to get a proposal "wrong".

The thing your girlfriend will be focussing on is that you want to spend the rest of your life with her - that's the most important thing!

A couple of pointers on practicalities:

• Do get down on one knee!
• Do tell her why you want to marry her (you can start off by telling her how much you love her, how special she is, how you life has changed since meeting her...and then turn and get down on one knee. If you say it afterwards she won't be hearing you!!)
• offer her the ring! My adorable fiancé had me unwrap the ring box with the ring inside and I was like "I think you're supposed to "give" it to me!" (it was all in good humour though)
• Be prepared for her to spend like, a good HOUR on the phone calling her parents afterwards!
• Be prepared for her to start talking about the wedding as soon as the next day. Not all women do that obviously but it's just so exciting!!