Irritating Grandma

[YokoUhOh]

A couple of weeks ago, PIL visited. MIL made a big deal of bringing 'sweets' for DS (19 months) and made an even bigger song and dance about giving them just before tea. It went something like this:

Grandma has something for you, but don't tell mummy!

Then, after the event:

Grandma and DS did something naughty, but we dont tell mummy! Ad infinitum.

(a) I don't give a shit if she gave him sweets before tea and (b) what is it with the 'don't tell mummy, she'll be cross' stuff? Am I right to be irritated by this? Why paint me as the bad guy? Is undermining mummy 'a grandparent thing'?

Pretty much what holeinmyheart said.

As to I agree. To be honest, we do duty visits only, and I think we've sent her a strong message that we hold the keys to her relationship with DS.

Well, that's a joyous relationship. How do you think your MiL feels about that?

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, but when my MIL gets out the huge packet of sweets/biscuits/doughnuts just before a meal which she does quite often, I just say 'no, not til after dinner, no thank you' and then don't dwell on it/move on to next thing. I think it's perfectly possible to be nicely assertive. I'm sure my MIL doesn't love me doing this, but she does realise she has to ask me first about stuff now, and that my decision/husband's decision goes when it comes to the children.

Dust, I didn't say you said the MiL was a Paedophile. Please read my Post carefully. I said to LIKEN Yoko's MIL to a Paedophile was ridiculous.

You have reminded me that my MIL used to bring out a back of "treats" for my DC and be astonished when they said "no thank-you we don't like them!"
It completely voided her bribery and control tactics and made me laugh a lot!

Just in case there is any misunderstanding Dust I have said it twice.

God she sounds more than irritating.

She sounds perfectly awful.