i am stuck in a situation and at a complete loss to know how to improve things. i'm an english woman living in a remote, rural part of france with my four your old son, and his french dad. our relationship has completely broken down and we just drive each other crazy. we live off grid in an idylic beautiful valley but there is alot of work to do and although capable he doesnt get anything done. he has started literally 40 projects and not finished any. we still have no bathroom and no toilet. he is incapable of picking up after himself, cleaning, feeding the animals, collecting the eggs... to the extent he still asks me things like where are the plates?, where are our sons socks?... despite being told hundreds of times; when i get mad about these things he says he doesnt care and tells me i need help and insults me. i admit i scream and shout but i feel that he is abusive in alot of ways and theres just nothing i can do. i can't ignore this stuff as he doesnt pay bills, goes overdrawn, looses papers, doesnt fill in forms, doesnt finish vehicle repairs... things that affect us all. if i was in the uk i would leave but i dont want to take my son away from his dad. he loves him. he's great for playing with him and acting like a four year old himself but completely irresponsible. plus where we live is a beautiful dream of a place. but im so depressed and isolated and have reached a point where i cant bear to be around him. he wont go for counselling. he abuses me, then two minutes later he'll be whistling and laughing with our son while im dying. i've always believed in taking action to resolve situations but i just can't seem to find a way out of this.