Hi there,
I discovered last week, after almost a decade together, that my husband had been 'speaking' to another woman. It's been going on since the start of the year. They have exchanged 'wank' videos and were constantly talking to each other, through email, txt and skype. I am really upset by all of this, it has come out of the blue (I'm sure that's what everyone says)
I know that they have not had any physical contact as she lives in another part of the country, although I'm not sure what would have happened were that not the case.
When confronted about it all, he apologised and let me ask all sorts of questions about the how, where and why. He says it all got out of hand, she had started out as his friend and things had just happened - he was able to talk to her (he pointed out we don't really talk any more, which is true, but he was not trying to pin the affair on that point). He loves her, but when asked to choose between her and me, he chose me. I asked him to delete all forms of contact with her and never to have any contact with her ever again, which he readily agreed to - part of me worried that this was because we have children, but he assures em that he loves me and that this was, of course, a mistake....
I would like to move past this and eventually forgive him, I realise that this is all new to me, so I am feeling raw, but I am stuck.
I love him, and I want all this to go away, so we can go back to normal, but a large part of me hates him for the lying, sneaking around and for loving someone else. There were times when I could see that he was messaging someone, but he made out like it was nothing, there were txts late at night and early in the morning.
I was hoping that someone would be able to give me advice on what to do next? If I Want to forgive him and move past this all, what's my best plan?
I know I may sound naive or stupid to some people, I hope that is not the case.
Many thanks for reading