Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sorry but another sex one

18 replies

What2do1984 · 07/07/2014 16:22

Ok this may sound totally stupid to most of you but please bear with me as this is really affecting my sex life not DH's. I have been with DH for 13 years married for 2 . Before we had the kids our sex life was amazing but isn't most people's? Now here is the issue I just can't give him a BJ Blush not because of him I always used to but for
Some reason I just stopped and now I'm so worried I'm
Going to go for it but he won't like it Blush like move not done it for so long I've forgotten how ? God I sound like a right nonce but its really concerning me. He never brings up the subject , he has
Jokes about me going down on him a couple of times and I've just shrugged it off . Now he has stopped giving me
Oral as I think he thinks cause I don't do it for him I don't like it , so it's like it's knocked both our confidence . How can I be worried about this when we have been together so long ? The sex itself is great but I feel we just need more. Sorry if this sounds dumb I've tried
Googling but haven't really found much on this subject out there

OP posts:
TheHoundsBitch · 07/07/2014 16:25

You haven't found much about BJs on the internet? Hmm

Original poster
What2do1984 · 07/07/2014 16:27

No just the lack of confidence in doing it.

OP posts:
GiniCooper · 07/07/2014 16:29

What do you want us to say? Suck it up and get on with it?!

WestEast · 07/07/2014 16:30

I had a similar thing when I first got with my DP as I've been with women a lot more than I have men and I was feeling really unconfident about it.
So we talked about it, he told me what he liked and I tried it :D
Honestly, talk to him.
Oh and if you're putting his dick in your mouth it's pretty much guaranteed that he'll like it. But you have to enjoy it too.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 07/07/2014 16:31

Er you don't sound like a nonce unless your dh is five.

Can you not text or email saying; "it's been a long time since blah blah. I'd like to try it but feel nervous..what do you think?"

rb32 · 07/07/2014 16:32

"Oh and if you're putting his dick in your mouth it's pretty much guaranteed that he'll like it. " This.

neiljames77 · 07/07/2014 16:50

You've forgotten how to do it???? Confused

There's no such thing as a bad one. (unless you're one of the 24 in Magaluf) Some are just more adept than others. I doubt he'll offer up any complaints or criticism.
It's not the same with masturbation though. Some women seem to get the pace and stroke right while some treat it like they're unblocking a sink with a plunger.

Jesaya · 07/07/2014 16:50

Can't stand the use of the word "nonce"

Advice on the subject - go for it. I very much doubt you'll get a step by step guide on here if that's what you're after.

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 07/07/2014 16:57

Just go for it!

RedRoom · 07/07/2014 17:16

I'm another poster who'd prefer you not to bandy about the term 'nonce' as if it means a mere fool!

There is plenty online about how to give a blow job, but surely you can't have regressed to the point of total inexperience / inability?

Have you tried talking to your husband? The inability to communicate is your problem here, not your memory failure about how to give a blow job.

Original poster
What2do1984 · 07/07/2014 17:24

I think it's more a confidence issue ? As I said I used to but haven't for about 4 years now , we hit a bad spell during pregnancies Etc, we have 3 under 7. Sorry for that word didn't mean to upset anyone

OP posts:
Joysmum · 07/07/2014 17:29

Don't think about what you are doing, just watch the reaction of your DH. Not only will that mean you're focussing on him rather than you, you'll also be getting instants and feedback on what he likes and instant responses to show you that you're fabulous Wink

TheAwfulDaughter · 07/07/2014 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RedRoom · 07/07/2014 17:51

Has anything in particular knocked your confidence? Have you started to do it and he has stopped you, or looked disinterested?

Joysmum's advice is sound.

Madamecastafiore · 07/07/2014 17:56

I asked DH once what he thought was good technique, he basically said anything you can do with your mouth and tongue which doesn't include biting or chewing is good.

Mind you I asked him if I could have a boob job once finished feeding dd and he said he was just extremely thankful to have access to a pair of boobs so he isn't that choosy, just pathetically grateful!

Original poster
What2do1984 · 07/07/2014 18:08

No nothing I can think of at all , we are have just pretty much deleted it from our sex life , I can't even remember why but It may have been because of interruptions from the kids /babies that we just had to hurry and get it done , but obv I want to re-introduce it but I'm just a bit shy with this stuff , why I don't know as we have been together all this time and obv love each other dearly but as I said he doesn't really do oral on me now either , but that could be possibly cause I don't for him , I want to I really do but then when it comes to the right time I just can't , weird :-/

OP posts:
PomeralLights · 07/07/2014 18:09

If you're worried about doing it, don't think of the blow job as an end in itself - use it as part of the warm up, with the intention to progress to full sex after. Then it won't matter if you get it perfectly right as you're not going for the 'big bang' so to speak, just to get him really hard. As other posters have said, just putting his dick in your mouth will achieve this. Do whatever you feel like doing for as long as you want, then move on. If you give him a blow job then straddle him, my guess is you will blow his mind and he won't be short of compliments to soothe your worry!

I know what this is like I've had similar before, just got fixated on not being sure what I'm doing any more and super anxious. I found easing into it without focusing on it as the main deal was the best way to get back on the horse, so to speak!

Original poster
What2do1984 · 07/07/2014 18:31

I will try again later if he is in mood :-/ I don't know how far I will get , I just think he could do with some help now and again lol as it takes him up to an hour sometimes to finish with penetration only , so think we need to reintroduce bj's to get back what we used to have , aaah I dunno

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page