Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Just phoned my Dad for the first time in 5 years

14 replies

cuddybridge · 07/07/2014 12:39

He said I had a wrong number, when I pointed out that he had 2 daughters, and that I didn't have a wrong number he put the phone down.
I only called because my DB was concerned that he was dead, he's an areshole isn't he?? Im so pissed off with him and me

I want to leave a pithy comment on his answering machine, any suggestions?
So as not to drip feed my DM left him when I was 8, and ,me and DB left too, he appears to have never forgiven us, he has another family with another DD and DS now

OP posts:

kinkyfuckery · 07/07/2014 12:40

I'm so sorry. You must be feeling so hurt and angry right now.

At least you know he's not dead.... mores the pity!

Was it definitely him?

Meerka · 07/07/2014 12:41

Yep, he's an arsehole.

Suppose I shoudl say 'dont leave a message on the phone" but actually, sometimes letting it out makes you feel a hell of a lot better. So whatever you come up with, good luck

GobblersKnob · 07/07/2014 12:43

So sorry, my Dad is also shitetastic, you have my sympathy and you were brave to call him.

Branleuse · 07/07/2014 12:45

what a cunt.

I have a shitty dad too, but yours sounds worse than mine.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 07/07/2014 12:46

The best revenge with someone like this is to live well. You do not need him because you really do owe him nothing.

Do not leave any further comment on his answering machine; doing that will make him aware that he upset you at that time. Do not give him that power or satisfaction, hold your head high without him.

Original poster

cuddybridge · 07/07/2014 12:46

I did try and call him back, it was definitely him, but it went straight to answering machine. As you say I can report back to DB that the rumours of his demise are exaggerated. At least we haven't missed the funeral !!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

cuddybridge · 07/07/2014 12:49

Thanks for all the comments, I was feeling shitty, but you are all so nice, it helps that I'm not the only one with an arsehole Dad, he has never seen his beautiful GC, and they are both adults now, so you are right it is soo his loss

OP posts:

LaceyLitch · 07/07/2014 12:49

I have a crap dad who I haven't seen in 10 years despite for the first 5 years living less than 2 miles away from me. He doesn't care about me, if he did he would get in touch with me.

There is no point in leaving a message for him. At least you know his true colours and that he is still a wanker. Some people never change, don't live in hope. Don't make yourself any more upset/let him no how upset you are by leaving a message. Believe me, he won't care.

LaceyLitch · 07/07/2014 12:50

BTW I was 12 when I last saw my dad so not the case of two stubborn adults butting heads and refusing to get back in contact.

moolady1977 · 07/07/2014 16:26

i have a shitty father too he had so many chances at being a dad and then a grandad but he just wasnt worth the effort me and my dcs were putting in to try and have a relationship with him final straw was my younger dssis 18th as we left he didnt even turn round and carried on talking to some friend of his saying "yes i have 2 beautiful dds no he had 5 dds , i was told his loss not mine but it does hurt sending hugs to you x

Original poster

cuddybridge · 07/07/2014 19:31

Yes Moo you are so right he isn't worth any effort, Ive spent too many years struggling with this, you have all put it so succinctly, he really isn't worth anymore of my time or hurt.

Sorry we all have such appalling fathers, it stinks really

OP posts:

inlectorecumbit · 07/07/2014 19:43

ALERT PLEASE DO NOT READY IF EASILY OFFENDED

Why don't you leave a message on his answerphone.

Hey dad l am so glad you are not dead because l would have missed the chance to attend your funeral and dance on your grave-You are a pathetic excuse for a father.

Really awful l know but it may hurt him as much as he has hurt you.
really really awful but it's the impulsive type message l would have left.

Sorry

holeinmyheart · 07/07/2014 19:44

What a horrible thing to do to you Cuddy. You have my utmost sympathy. I had one of those sorts of Pa. I never went to his funeral and I haven't shed a tear yet. I have had counselling. It really helped. Lots of hugs

TheCunkOfPhilomena · 07/07/2014 20:19

Hugs to you cuddy and everyone else with rubbish fathers. Mine hasn't forgiven me for having DS out of wedlock and now being a LP. DS is now 3.5 and he's never seen him. I send him e-mails every few months to give him updates but he just isn't interested. It hurts. He won't answer the phone to me either.

I would resist the urge to leave a message though, just focus on you and your real family.

Flip