Confusing dream about cousin

[LaceyLitch]

I posted this in Bereavement too but there is a lot more traffic here and I guess it's about the relationship between my cousin and I.

Last night I had a dream about my cousin who died when she was 19, 4 years ago. We had a semi close relationship, got on very well but I missed a lot of special occasions together (birthdays, xmas etc) through working, which I felt very guilty about after her death and have made a big effort to spend time with the rest of my family.

THE DREAM: My cousin (Gee) came home from hospital. I was shocked as I thought she wasn't coming back. Throughout the dream I was very confused, I didn't get why people were writing on her fb saying they would miss her, she kept asking me to ask my mum to buy her a new top, she said my mum wouldn't listen to her. She kept on asking me if we could go on holiday together at xmas and if we could go out, but not on the weekend (she died on a Friday night).

Eventually I asked my mum why is Gee here I thought she wasn't coming back? My mum replied she isn't coming back, she's dead. I realised she had been dead the entire dream and was infact a ghost haunting me and I was the only one who could see/talk to her (that's why she couldn't ask my mum for the top). Gee then started pulling my arm and I realised she wouldn't leave me alone and woke up screaming then started crying.

I have been very confused/upset all morning. Has anyone else had a dream like this?

Just for clarification I don't believe in ghosts.

Dream analysis is bit of a hobby for me and the key thing to identify is what your main emotion was in the dream. You mention words like 'suprised', 'confused' and that you didn't understand what was going on because no-one else could see what you were seeing.

Is there something in your life at the moment that is a source of stress or anxiety, where you feel that you've got the answer but that others are ignoring you... or conversely, you thought you had the answer but others have persuaded you that you are wrong?

It's just a dream honey. After someone dies who you were very close to, and especially if you feel guilty (and there's almost always guilt involved with bereavement imo), then from time to time it rises up in your subconscious. Probably something in the daytime triggered it and you didn't even notice.
I have dreams about my mum regularly, just normal "oh there she is" dreams, also have dreams about my first bf (were together 9 yrs, not been together for a long time and am perfectly happy with DP), and dreams about my best friend from school who cut me off without a word when she went to uni. These types of loses leave a scar and sometimes the dreams can be so vivid and have all the emotion from that time attached. The last one about my ex made me miss him all day, like a giant ache. But then it faded.
I wouldn't worry about it too much, unless they become recurrent dreams. They're just an echo of old emotion.

losses, opps.

All that's happening is that your subconscious is addressing the loss of your cousin.

If you dream about her again, you can remind her she's dead and tell her to go away. I do that with my grandparents. They turn up in my dreams, when I realise (because at first its just 'normal' and I don't think about them being dead) I say 'You're dead' and off they go.

Losing your cousin so young is a big shock. It might be that four years later is the first time your subconscious trusts itself to look at how you feel about it.

Cogito The main emotions I was feeling in my dream was above all confusion, but also guilt. I never agreed with her to do any of the things she kept asking me, I didn't say no, I just let her ramble on and on and felt bad for her. Then I was getting annoyed/felt suffocated that she was so irritatingly clingy with me. At the end I was scared as I realised she wasn't going to leave me alone.

But when I woke up it was kind of nice to think about the bits in the dream when we were talking as I haven't spoke to her in so long.

Genuinely I think perhaps I never really acknowledged her death, I just think of her as being away for a long time. I have never had a lot of sorrow/grief until now.

branna I have reoccurring dreams about a guy in highschool who I had a casual but intense relationship with.

In the dreams we are always starting to do something sexual but get interrupted. We are as we are now, not our highschool selves so when I wake I feel flustered and slightly guilty at 'dream cheating' on DP. I haven't seen the bloke in years and aside from the odd comment or photo on facebook we don't talk, so the dreams come as a surprise. I wonder if deep inside I still have some feelings for him when consciously I wouldn't mind if I never saw him again. However I find the dreams easy to brush off. I feel like the one with my cousin ran deeper.

Then the thing to take from it is that you've been left with a nice feeling after talking to her in your dream. The suffocating, annoying and clingy aspect of your guilt has passed and maybe you don't need to make so big an effort to spend time with the family now?

Sex dreams are great! I think they mean you're feeling happy, relaxed and uninhibited and therefore 'OM' figure is often random and almost irrelevant.

Yeah I like sex dreams too! Though I know what you mean about the dream cheating bit, glad DP is a grumpy bugger in the morning and never asks why I'm sometimes very cheerful!
I think pps are right, that maybe you hadn't thought too much about your cousin up til now, and it's suddenly coming into your head. It may not be relevant but are you close to her parents? Maybe you could see if they want to talk about her a bit, if they're up to it emotionally. Say you'd had a dream about her/ have been thinking about her. Sometimes people like to know others miss their loved ones as well. Maybe it'll help you feel you've done something for her memory. Like I said, may not be relevant.

After my daughter was born, I had regular, recurrent dreams in which I was having sex with my dad. The first time, I protested. Afterwards, I just went along with it. They were immensely pleasurable, the effects lasting long into the following day.

Just to be clear, my dad and I are 'reserved and polite' in our actual dealings with each other. We're not up to no good, nor would we want to be. From that aspect, I found the dreams a bit worrying. Eventually I understood that they were about accepting fully-adult status, conferred by motherhood. And at that point, the dreams stopped.

I like dreams. They're not always about what you think.