Boyfriend on swinger sex sites

[zleepy]

devastated today to discover the man who I thought was my best friend and soul mate has been on a fabswinger as a single man looking for sex and has been for a year. He was online today. His profile had 4 detailed reviews of meetings by women he'd met.

He has always portrayed himself as a good man slightly better than others esp my ex husband. His hypocrisy and deceit has made a mockery of the last 4 years. I dont know what's true and whats a lie and I am so raw and broken.

I broke up with him but don't know how to get over him.

Why am I so wet!?

Just give yourself time. You will get over him. Treat yourself kindly and remember that he wasn't what he seemed and he did not deserve you!

You won't heal overnight, so be patient with yourself, too. Try to keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy. If you can find someone in RL to talk to, you should.

thank you, and yes, I'm going to make an appt although he hasn't been near ME for months!

What was his reaction when you confronted him?

What an utter piece of shit.

I'm sorry you've had such a nasty surprise. Four years is a long period of time for someone to hide their true colours. Getting over him is going to take time, effort, keeping yourself busy and being with people who make you happy and want to support you. Have you told anyone the truth about the break-up or would you find that awkward?

he lied at first then admitted it when I sent him a screenshot of his profile with his picture on it.I'm trying to keep busy but havent told anyone because I feel such a fool for taking him back after a "1 off fling" last year. its the lies, I just dont know whats real about the last four years. I know I should man up and move on and have had worse - I'd left an abusive marriage when I met him I'm finding it so hard because he used to be the good guy and if that's what the good guy turns out to be I just don't know whats real anymore. I'm sorry im such a mess thank you for your kindness and advice it means and helps a lot xxx

I found out when his daughter emailed me. I thought she was just trouble making - they're estranged. I went on & created a fake profile and looked at his age group/area and there he was.

Oh heck zleepy. You poor thing. I really feel for you.

I found out very similar about my exDP (and more besides) two years ago. I can still remember the pain and shock and utter utter disbelief now.

I know that you won't beieve it now but you will get over him - and this. And you will be happy again. Time will help

But please please do tell someone in RL. They will not judge you. Theywill want to help you and support you.

And keep posting here. I wish I had had MN when I was in the depths of this

Good luck OP xx

I'm so sorry for you. Definitely tell someone in real life. You can't keep this to yourself, it's too devastating.

I just told my friend. it was hard talking in code on phone because of kids but she got me. Thank you xxx

Well done for telling someone! RL support is very useful.

Have you ever done any counselling to heal you from the abusive relationship?

If not, now's the time to look at doing that. It won't ever go away by itself, and doing something like The Freedom Programme will kind of protect you from dysfunctional relationships in the future.

Well done. That was brave. Have you got someone with you today? Can you talk freely with someone?

How are you zleepy?