Has anyone else had an abortion they regret? *POSSIBLE trigger*

[CroydonFacelift]

I had an abortion a year ago this weekend.

I have two lovely children. I didn't feel (for various reasons) that I could continue with the pregnancy.

I have struggled with my feelings about it ever since. I have had counselling (ongoing, for various issues including this) but am still feeling sad and regretful.

I am 100% pro choice and also did what I thought was right at the time. So why cant I get over it? I get waves of sadness every few days or so, a lump in my throat, and cant stop thinking 'the baby would be X months old by now' etc.

Sorry to hear all that. It sounds awful and sorry for your loss of your friend :(

I wouldn't take up sterilisation if you do want to have a baby. It almost seems like punishing yourself more as if you think you don't deserve the chance. I hope you eventually do have a baby in happier circumstances - that is what I hope for myself for the future. I couldn't bear the thought of it being my only chance so I try to stop myself thinking that.

That's exactly it. Punishing myself. I still don't socialise and things because I feel I don't deserve to be happy
And the FWB that said he would never stop talking to me? Well he has and we've been on and off for 17 years so I miss him a lot

I have. It was 19 years ago when I was 17. I can't believe I made the decision I did, although it was undoubtably the right thing to do at the time. I sought out counselling afterwards and I remember the counsellor asking me whether I thought my baby was a boy or a girl and what might I have called it. She asked me to imagine myself as another person who was feeling all the things I felt at the time and to put my arms around this girl and comfort and reassure her. I found this helpful and it gave me a sense of perspective. I think it will always be the most terrible event of my life.

There is an organisation called LIFE Charity, a non religious organisation that offers counselling post abortion. 0800 802 5433. They have centres but I'm not sure how many or where. Wishing you all the best ladies, and my heart goes out to those struggling.

I would also recommend Care Confidential I had a few sessions with them and they were really helpful.

I do think it's the hardest thing I've ever been through and I never want to go through it again. You have my support and thoughts ladies