Miserable and alone

[Jellyboobs]

Sat at home with my little girl feeling utterly miserable as everyone else is out having a jolly old time and plastering it all over facebook and the oh is out all day AGAIN and will be next Sunday and the Sunday after until the end of bloody time!
I haven't been out for months, oh is either working or out himself, so I'm at home with our daughter.
We live in the sticks, theres eff all to do, I miss the city and being near people and actual activities but oh won't live there. Since having lo I don't get invited to anything any more, even my oldest friend is out with mutual mates today without inviting me, and I just feel like shit. i feel.like I'll never have friends for real because of where we are and my situation and then I feel guilty and shitty for wanting to be out and not with my beautiful daughter. Argh! How do people cope????

Oh I remember that when I was married to my ex husband, he was quite selfish really always out doing his hobbies, or drinking or away watching football somewhere I had no family and my friends were with their husbands etc I hated it, it destroyed our relationship in the end and I ended up happier on my own. Ex has the children every other weekend which gave me some time and space and I didn't have to put up with his shit, I took the. Holden on holiday on my own and basically started to live again. He needs to realise how you are feeling , have you discussed with him ? Does he realise how your feeling. He needs to give you a break otherwise he will end up loosing you !

Supposed to say I took the children on holiday on my own.

Sounds like you need to try to make your own life there in the sticks if that's where you are going to stay. I joined a mother and baby group in the local church hall despite my dread of such things. It was pretty dull for the most part but it was something to do with ds. Then one day I got chatting to a really nice girl who shared the same interest in horses. We're now great pals and meet up several times a week for the kids to play and we get to hang out. Also talk to dp about your unhappiness of course. Accepting that life has changed since your daughters arrival is difficult but necessary. Ds is just 4 and I'm starting to get my head around it :)

Maybe you should lie on Facebook about how you feel and post on there something like:

"Sitting here relaxing in the peace and quiet doing sweet FA, chilling out with a glass of red wine and playing with my adorable daughter."

You'll probably get a ton of comments about how fantastic that sounds and how lucky you are living the quiet relaxing life in the sticks away from the city.

In my opinion Facebook is a front window showhouse and no indication of people's real lives or feelings. It's totally a mask.

Facebook is no indicator of happiness. People post what they want other people to see.

You could post a few replies, or put it out there that you'd like to do x or y and is anyone interested in joining you?

A lot of my friends post in a non boasting way so whilst I agree that Facebook represents extremes of emotions (happy/sad) I don't think it's all fake.

It sounds to me OP as if your loneliness stems from your relationship as much as anything else. I split with a man who was too busy pursuing his social life, hobbies and career. I was far less lonely because I organised my life as I wanted and didn't feel rejected.

How far in the sticks are you? Can you drive? Get a bus? And how old is dd?

I felt like that on mat leave, and we lived in the middle of a village. I just didn't know anyone as I'd always worked. It is very, very normal to feel like this, particularly if your partner carries on like a single bachelor.

any chance you can get up on Sat am and go somewhere without him? (with or without dd) Anywhere you can walk to with your dd?

Sit your partner down and tell him he's being shitty - he should be doing 50% of the parenting when you're both home. If he won't listen then you need to have a think about that.

Try to find things to do, e.g. walk in the fields, go to the village shops to get milk and wine, find a park. Even if you only go out for 20 mins it can make you feel better.

AVOID Facebook like the plague if you want happiness op; it is the biggest scourge of modern life. Put down the screen and go for a nice walk in the sun with your dd.

everyone lies on facebook... few really put how lousy they feel. It's like a show home... all lovy at the front but empty. Talk to your partner. Maybe one time slot/week could be "your" time. Also reach out to other people. They're never as perfect as you think.

Thanks all.
Removed self from fb, feel light! Making some plans for me & the little lady, oh has the next 6 Sunday's booked {hmmm} so we might book a little trip away for ourselves :-)

The next 6 Sundays? Doing what precisely? I'm sorry OP, but I would be having some serious words with this man. He isn't pulling his weight at all, and it really isn't good enough. No wonder you're feeling alone...it sounds very much like you are!

Surely your problem is not FB or living in the country but an 'OH' that would rather be doing anything than spend time with his family? What is the bloody point of being in a relationship if the other person prefers anyone and anything else to you?

You think you live with this person, but frankly sounds like he lives in a Hotel with benefits.