issues and sex

[MissLoveHearts]

Love my partner, but recently everytime we have sex he wants me to dress up. It was fun the first few times but now he expects it everytime and to be honest, sometimes i cant be bothered fiddling to put it all on. Kills the mood.
Also if he is in a bad mood... which will inevitably put me in a bad mood because he is snappy, I dont feel like having sex with him... but he still wants it. Am i being out of order because i now dont?

Tell him that sex needs to satisfy you too. Whilst you love that he loves you dressing up so much, it isn't so fulfilling for you.

Sex is supposed to be between consenting adults for the gratification of both of them, not just one of them. He is behaving unreasonably if he wants you to dress up every time. It spoils the spontaneity as well as being boring. Also when he is grumpy and stroppy, ask him if this his plan to get you to desire him, because as a plan it is 'pants' and it isn't working. No one wants to make love to a grumpy git, duhhh. If you can't tell him how you feel, then it is a relationship issue.

You're not out of order. A good sexual relationship is where two people are on the same page and wanting the same thing. Compromises are normal but not to the point where it is as one-sided as you're making it sound. If he wants sex when he's in a bad mood you've been relegated to 'stress relief' and I don't think that's loving or respectful behaviour. There's a place for dressing up but, if it's starting to become mandatory, then he's shagging the clothes/image/fantasy, not making love to you the person. There is never a situation where it is wrong to say that you don't want sex.

It sounds as if he is is having some problem making love to the real you and needs extensive fantasy every time. This is not a good sign. Would he 'settle' for just nice but simple lingerie? To be honest you have to try to talk to him before this becomes such a big issue that you won't want sex at all. I have heard many women say that their man still wants sex even though he has been really grumpy and made her life miserable. For many men sex is a purely physical act and often detached from emotions.
I hope you can talk to him and explain how you feel. He needs to know how damaging this is becoming to your relationship and also how his moods are affecting you. For both your sakes I hope he can listen and respond to your concerns.

Will he dress up for you?

You shouldn't force yourself to have sex with him if you don't want it, nor should you do anything you don't feel like.
And he should respect that.