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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dumped by friend

2 replies

Hughfearnley · 06/07/2014 09:09

A quick summary: I have 5 month old DS and getting married in a couple of months. I have/had a very close friend (very close until I moved away) who lives 3 hours away. I haven't managed to visit recently as had a difficult pregnancy with SPD and now obviously have DS and planning wedding etc.
Text message arrives saying she can't come to wedding for minor reason related to transport. I immediately offer to sort problem but now have not heard back. It's clear she and partner don't want to come.
I'm hurt (mainly by the impersonal text) but not that surprised. Friend hasn't really been in touch much since birth of DS despite efforts on my part. Invited her to stay two or three times. We have another joint "acquintance" who had a child at a similar time and she has visited her twice already, texting me photos of the baby as if making a point.
It's clear to me that I have been dumped. I understand that some friendships are difficult to maintain especially when significant distances are involved. But I'm hurt by the way I have just been dismissed. There are plenty of lovely friends coming to my big day and I know we will have a fabulous time but this is niggling away at me. I'm not sure what I have done wrong.......or whether to confront her. I guess I should probably just let her fade out of my life in a quiet dignified manner.......
Any thoughts?

OP posts:
ElsieMc · 06/07/2014 09:14

Let her go. You have other lovely friends and a wedding coming up. Concentrate on those who love you and care about you. Put her out of your mind; it was very childish to send you photos of the other baby intended to make you feel you had done something wrong. She seems to have transferred her affections elsewhere so you do the same. Good luck.

Joysmum · 06/07/2014 10:43

Have you expressed your thoughts to your friend? That's the first thing to do isn't it? Express your sadness at you both drifting apart and try to work out a way to feel more connected again.

If it's as good a friendship as you say, it's worth talking this through with her.

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