don't understand what has changed... TMI

[Sassy777]

Ok, I'll try and make it short! Basically it's taking me a lot longer to come these days and I have no idea why.

Exh left last august and I've been single since then. It started happening about 4 months ago (I didn't have a partner then). I've just started seeing someone and it's still the same... can't even do it myself like I used to lol!! So I know it's not him... could it be to do with age at all? I'll be 40 next year. I still get very turned on like I used to btw...

I don't think it's age-related. Could be that your mind is elsewhere, you're not as relaxed as in the past, you don't feel completely at ease with the new lover (or they're not really doing it for you). Try not to worry or that could make it worse.

Are you taking any medications?

I've been on ADs on and off for many years and when I'm on the damned things it's really difficult to get there.

I've found over time that my tastes have changed. This was difficult at first because I expected what had always worked in the past to continue to work then got very frustrated and worried when it didn't.

What was needed was a session of no expectations, of going back to how I was as a young lady when trying to explore my body and find out what I liked.

So my advice, get yourself ready for a night in. Just play and evaluated whilst you like. Literally go back to exploring every inch if your body and not going straight to the old tried and tested. If you have toys, make sure you've put new batteries in them! A slight change in frequency of vibration makes all the difference to me and might go for you too.

Get to know your own body again, and RS only after you've done that that you can direct a partner to satisfy you more effectively. Also, try not to get too hung up on having an orgasm, yes they are very pleasurable but also focus very much on how you are feeling in the moment, rather than the end desired result.

Good luck and enjoy

Thanks for the advice. Not taking any meds no so def not that. I chucked an old vibrator away a while ago so I guess I should go buy another one as I have nothing now lol... One thing that did happen at around the same time was me getting a boob job... my nipples are ultra sensitive now which is frustrating. Maybe that's not helping? I absolutely love my new boobs though!

We're twins!i had mine done too. I had empty sacks after I lost weight but they were very much an erogenous zone in sex, now, DH appreciated them but I have areas of hyper sensitive and others with no sensation.

My surgeon advised the getting to know your own nidy again thing and he was right

Ok thanks, will try that! Joysmum, how long has it been for you? I have numb patches underneath still too. Surgeon said it can take up to a year to get feeling back!