Ex and I split up a year ago after I had enough of his lying, weed smoking, lack of responsibility and help in raising our two DDs. He eventually moved out 8 months ago to a flat he says is unsuitable for DDs to stay or visit him in.
Wanting the DDs to have a relationship with their Dad, he would come to the house and I made him feel welcome, but he'd sit there not paying the kids attention and glare at me or sulk. He wouldn't even take the kids to the park knowing that this would make things easier for me by giving me a break.
He started looking at my phone and computer when I was out of the room and got a nasty shock when he found out that I'd joined a dating website. Since then he's reverted to sending me abusive text messages calling me a whore and 'soiled goods'. So I've refused him access to the house.
I have been crystal clear that he should have every opportunity to see the kids but he says he has no money to take them anywhere and so hasn't seen them for over two weeks, he hasn't even called them. He will text me to ask how they are and I've asked him what his intentions are towards regular contact and maintenance (which has been patchy), but I get no answer. Can you help me understand his motivations for being like this and what I should do to help my DDs 2&6 have a meaningful relationship with their Dad, or not?
He says the kids are the only people he cares about in the world. But he has 4 other kids he never sees- I guess I shouldn't be surprised. But I'm heartbroken.