Sick and tired of my kids dad abusive attitude

[InSmallDoses]

Just need to vent really and wondered if any others have faced the same thing.
I've been facing ongoing control, bullying, demeaning etc etc behavior and attitude from my ExH since divorcing a few years ago and this spills over into his attitude towards me to the kids.

The other evening a simple request from my son for payment for something for school resulted in him telling my son to 'get your mum to pay' my son asked what happens if mum can't and his fathers reply was 'then she can go f*k herself'. My son relayed this to me on his return and though he didn't appear particularly upset I am concerned at the effect this could have on him and his older brother. This is not isolated and I am so fed up and feel so alone, I have no family near and carry the weight of being a single parent myself, they see their dad alternate weekends and once in the week.

I felt like emailing my disgust to ex but any contact with him results in a tirade of verbal abuse. (only email or text as I refuse to speak to him over his appalling attitude)

He also appears obsessed with me and addressed me by my OD profile name in an email once, to show me he knew I was on there no doubt, I've since deleted. I don't feel I can live a normal life. Just feel miserable really.

How old are they?

I would be tempted to email, just to record this event, but could he take it out on the children?

What he is doing is abusive to the children. I hope you told your son that it is not acceptable to speak about people that way and that his father is in the wrong.

Also tell your husband that if he had the childrens best interest at heart he wouldn't be vile in front of them.

Well done for escaping him. Sounds like an excellent choice. Stay strong and do not let him influence your life negatively. Hold your head high and enjoy yourself. You will eventually meet someone who treats you with the love and respect you deserve.

If I email it's likely to result in a denial by him following by a tirade of abuse, he's full of anger as I wouldn't stay with him, blames me for everything and that I didn't try hard enough at the marriage, never loved him (untrue) only used him to get money( again untrue) I stayed at home when they were young and he got his share of the house when we divorced. He dragged everything through the courts, even seeking custody of the kids when I wanted to move to another area to stop me. A lot of the house proceeds were eaten up in solicitors fees yet he twists everything to make it my fault. I didn't move anywhere yet he still cannot drop this resentment.
He's simply never 'forgiven' me for leaving him.

It's so destructive all round, but fighting him is so tiring as he just ups the ante and always gets the last word, I challenge him if it's to do with the kids but never get anywhere as he has such a warped view and is full of a sense of entitlement, like I'm something he once owned and is pissed off that I'm no longer under his control.

I'm something he once owned and is pissed off that I'm no longer under his control.

That is probably a good assessment.

Fighting these people is just impossible. You do have to establish the boundaries you are comfortable with and stick to them firmly. And avoid getting drawn into confrontation with them.

If that type of behaviour is very common, you will need to evaluate how it's affecting the children and gather support to limit his influence and contact. WA might be able to help, as children charities or support within the school.
Otherwise, keep being the good parent that they can rely on.