So my miserable STBXH is now my good mate - Wtf?

[Handywoman]

He was miserable and angry, bit of a crap dad, quite controlling (am still realising this) and I feel he never actually loved me. So I finally kick the f*cker out and he leaves, nothing to say, no closure...

So now he behaves like a good mate, all cheery, considerate, commenting on the small stuff like a frien, like he um likes me. I have a lot of hurt, not least the way he responded (ie not) to bring kicked out. I want to poke him in the eye (well worse than that).

WTF is that about? Friends? Is making me mad with rage! How can he be like this?

Wtf?

Anyone?

[Handywoman]

Ah thank you, Mushroom

Doing ok and finally feel like I have a bit of protective space around me. It's exactly what I need.

How long ago was your experience, did you go No Contact? How long for? Right now I would like no contact to be for ever!!!!!

[MushroomSoup]

Kids are now teens so I don't see him AT ALL. occasionally we are at the same school 'do' and I smile and nod, make small talk about the kids if I have to.

When they were little though it was hard. He told such lies about me! He told THEM lies about me. I acted with supreme dignity at all times. It nearly killed me.

14 years on, I have absolutely come out on top in terms of the kids. They realise now that I ALWAYS organised Fathers Day/birthday/Christmas presents even though he never did. We had 4 children under 6 together when we split and I never even got a card.

I remember them crying one Mother's Day because they had nothing to give me - what a prick, to not even buy a bar of chocolate. We went shopping and they chose me a pair of slippers I couldn't really afford
They love him but they see him for what he is.

You get to a point where they have no power anymore - any power they have is what you're letting them have. Once you realise that, and treat them as you would an irritating neighbour (failingly polite but distant), it's suddenly easier.