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Original poster

What do you do with an old (unused) engagement ring? Sell it? Keep it?

32 replies

20somethingnomore · 02/07/2014 12:14

So I was with my ex for a decade and we have a dc together. We got engaged very quickly, but we were very young and didn't really think it was anything other than romantic at the time. I'm talking a couple of months here by the way As I say, very young.

So I'm in a new relationship (with a woman) and we do talk about getting married in the future. I know she has a ring for me (loooong story) but is obviously just waiting for the right time. As you can imagine though, she's quite uncomfortable with me still having my first engagement ring, but I don't really know what to do with it.

When me and my ex broke up, I asked if he wanted it back, to which he refused and was actually quite insulted. He said it was mine to do what I wanted with. Since then, it's been sat in a drawer. Until recently, I've not really given it a thought.

Now there are two reasons I'm considering selling it. One is the aforementioned and the other is simply financial. We're in the process of moving and any extra cash right now would be more than handy.

The problem is, it just doesn't feel right. Not because I'm still secretly in love with my ex or anything, but I don't know, it would just feel really odd to sell.

What would you do ladies?

OP posts:

Finola1step · 02/07/2014 12:17

Sell it and use the money to buy something for the dc you have together for the new house e.g. new bedroom furniture or to pay towards decorating their bedroom.

murphys · 02/07/2014 12:20

If you are needing the cash, yes I would sell it. Otherwise it would use the stone and gold and have a new ring made.

Original poster

20somethingnomore · 02/07/2014 12:41

Thanks

Yeah, if I did sell it, I would definitely use the money for something for DD.

Would it though, be completely inappropriate or weird to give her the ring when she grows up? Is that an insane idea?

No, we're not together anymore, but we're on good terms (most of the time) and obviously we don't regret our relationship because we had her.

Am I talking crazy now?

OP posts:

sunbathe · 02/07/2014 12:45

I'd keep it for your dd. She can then decide whether to wear it as a dress ring or sell it.

Purpleroxy · 02/07/2014 12:51

Just sell it and be rid.

BristolRover · 02/07/2014 12:57

not insane at all, keep it for your DD (maybe get it reset??)
(I have a rather lovely piece of jewellery that my mum was given by a former boyfriend. I think it may well have pissed my dad off that she wore it on her wedding day, but it's really very pretty and it's a very funny story.) Nice for your DD to have as a memento and know that you'd been hapyp with her father etc.

monkeyfacegrace · 02/07/2014 13:00

Christ I sold mine sharpish and bought a cracking pair of Loubis.

Hth.

OldCatLady · 02/07/2014 13:04

I'd keep it for your DD. She may appreciate having something that was from when mum and dad loved each other and decided to have a baby

Mylovelylovelyhorse · 02/07/2014 13:09

Have you an idea of how much it's worth? Second hand jewellery often doesn't fetch much

DracoMalfoysHairGel · 02/07/2014 13:10

Jumping on thread here as I'm in a similar position . I have a ring from over 10 years ago that I never got round to selling . This thread has prompted me to do something about it !
Where is the best place to sell ? I'm worried about being ripped off . Is it a case of visiting a few jewellers ?

EmGee · 02/07/2014 13:26

I think I would keep it and give it to your DD. After all, he is her father and she might appreciate having something from when you and he were together. She can always have it reset, or sell it, or just wear it.

I have a ring from an ex boyfriend and gave it to my sister. She took it round some pawn shops and was surprised at how much they said it was worth BUT none of them were actually buying at the time (it was back in February).

VenusDeWillendorf · 02/07/2014 13:31

Secondhand jewellery doesn't get as much as you think.

If there are two matched stones, have it remade into earrings and wear them, and then leave them for your dd. (she won't wear your old engagement ring either)

Tbh no one wants an engagement ring that didn't lead to a happy ending, and even then, people like to start afresh, without knowing that someone else wore that ring, and it didn't end in a bed of roses for them.

Don't sell, get it remodelled as earrings or a necklace, wear it, and leave to your dd.

ecuse · 02/07/2014 13:36

My mum had her engagement ring from my dad resized for me after they divorced when I was a teenager. I really loved having it (as the above poster says) as a memento of when mum & dad loved each other. She gave me the ring when I was, maybe, 15? And they divorced when I was 6. For ref.

That being said, if it were me and my ring, I might sell it . Your DD won't notice either way if you do.

MiniTheMinx · 02/07/2014 13:42

I would keep it, like OldCatLady for the same reason.

Also, unless the ring is something like a Burmese ruby with large diamonds of similar, you probably won't get much for it anyway.

MiniTheMinx · 02/07/2014 13:43

I should add I wear a Victorian Ruby and Diamond ring that belonged to my mother's first husbands Grandmother !! and I love it.

PlantsAndFlowers · 02/07/2014 13:49

I think it's a bit odd that your partner is off about it. Surely it's only a memento.

Mandatorymongoose · 02/07/2014 14:49

My parents have been divorced 20+ years and are both in new relationships. My mother gave me her engagement ring as a gift for my 21st and I love it - nothing weird about it. Keep it for your DD.

KissMyFatArse · 02/07/2014 16:19

I sold my engagement and my wedding ring ( for about a quarter of what they were worth!!! ) but myself and my son went on a wee spending spree for the day!

Wouldn't wear them again or want them made into anything so I don't regret it one bit! X

Lweji · 02/07/2014 16:40

Actually, I don't see a point in keeping it for a DD. It would make more sense to pass it on to a DS to give his bride (if he and her wanted to).

Other than that, I don't know. I still have my engagement and wedding rings.
Should sell them to offset the divorce costs, really.

louby44 · 02/07/2014 16:43

I have a gold wedding ring and a gold engagement ring from my marriage (divorced 8 years) I looked into selling them and will get about £130 for them both.

I've kept them but still can't decide what to do with them. I feel awful selling them but I shall never wear them again.

It's a tough one!

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 02/07/2014 16:52

If you need the cash sell , if you don't then keep it for your DD. My aunt sold all her marital jewellry during a bad divorce. To be fair she needed the cash very badly but her daughters admit they would have liked to have been able to choose something small. They were old enough to remember the jewellery being worn though.

GoatsDoRoam · 02/07/2014 17:00

Actually I can't imagine why your gf is uncomfortable about you still having your old engagement ring at the bottom of a drawer somewhere. If that's where you are comfortable keeping it, carry on.

WildBillfemale · 02/07/2014 17:10

If ex is the father of DD give it to her when she's older.

Unless the ring has a really good stone and is good quality or is antique/collectable you won't get much for it.

SarahThane · 02/07/2014 17:11

Mine's kicking about in our house somewhere, probably in a box in the loft, which is how much it matters. My DH couldn't give a stuff. If I could find it I'd be happy to sell it but it wouldn't fetch much, given the cheapskate he was.

GoatsDoRoam · 02/07/2014 17:13

I have my old wedding and engagement rings in the back of a filing cupboard. I don't hold any kind of torch for my ex-h, but the marriage was something I chose, and is a part of my history, and those rings are probably going to be kicking around the back of a filing cupboard until I croak, for that reason alone.

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