When is it time to give up?

[TallyGrenshall]

Been together 6.5 years, 1 DS. Nothing awful has happened, DP is not abusive or mean, he pulls his weight with the shitwork and with DS and is genuinely nice person.

But for the past 12 months we've lost that something. We still talk, have been out both as a family and child free, tried date nights at home etc but it's not improved.

No arguments, we still have fun but it's as friends now rather than anything else.

I'm just so sad about it all (but then I worry that is telling because I'm not heartbroken, just sad). We moved 400 miles from his family and friends and I feel bad that he did that for us and it isn't working. He is desperate to make it work but I think that's more to do with DS than our relationship even though we agree that staying for children is not best.

I'm just so down about it all.

I don't know what to suggest. Are you getting any time to yourself? Sometimes if you can build up your own sense of self, and self-worth, it helps.

Tally all marriages go up and down. I have been married for over 42 years and had 5 DC. On occasion my marriage has seemed bleak and boring. The feeling has lasted for months and I began to despair of ever being in love with my DH again. At one time I started to make moves and looked at other men and dream about being alone. However my DH is the kindest most decent person you could wish to meet and I hung in. Also I wasn't very courageous about what might happen to me and whether I was making the right decision. I am so glad I didn't do anything as the feeling went and I got back to how things were. Now I am happy and love him to bits. I could have ruined his and my life, for what exactly? I wasn't sure!

You owe it to yourself and your husband to discuss how you're feeling to discover whether this can be put right. Would it help if you moved that 400 miles back?

I like what hole said. Have you tried to spice up your sex life or to boost intimacy by kissing/hugging more?

Thank you.

We tried to make sure we hugged, held hands but that drifted off again.

We get our own time, I'm just back from a holiday with friends, he has been home a few times for weekends etc. I don't think I would be willing to move back, I'm happy here and, more importantly, DS is happy and settled here.

Sorry, on my phone.

We are talking about how we're feeling a lot but we are running out of ideas as to how to change it. We've tried so hard already