Thank you

[snowflake02]

Just wanted to say thank you for all the helpful replies to my post on Friday night here (Hope the link works, never tried before).

My husband found it and has read all the comments, so I thought it best to change my username and not comment on it again myself.

It has been a difficult couple of days. Still undecided as to what happens next but all the replies have been so helpful. Thank you.

snowflake, it sounds worrying that he found it. I hope you are OK.

Oh I have been reading that and was worried about you.

I do hope it has been OK for you and that you are safe now he has found out. Has he said anything? Are you OK?

He wasn't very happy, made me feel guilty for posting and said that I had posed the question in a certain way so of course everyone was going to say it was r*, I had painted him in a certain light etc. He says it was a misunderstanding. He thought I meant no as in yes. And apparently he only heard me say no once. He said some other stuff too, which has messed with my head a little (more denial mainly). Feel like I am going slowly mad again. Need to try and gather my thoughts.

Hmm

I'm glad you came back. Read that back to yourself.

Doesn't sound too great does it!

You do know how a normal man would have reacted to a misunderstanding, don't you?

He should have been horrified, absolutely appalled at the thought that he might have raped you. He should have been begging you to make sure he knew exactly what had happened so that he could make sure he never, ever made such a horrendous misunderstanding again. He should have apologised again and again and offered to do whatever it took to ensure it didn't happen again. He should have offered to sleep elsewhere to ensure you felt safe, even suggested that he leave until you were sure you were safe again. He should have reassured you that he only ever wants sex with you when YOU want it too and are enjoying it. That he wouldn't be able to enjoy himself unless he knew you were enjoying it too.

Instead of this, your DH made you feel guilty and that you were in the wrong. His reaction to your posting is very telling. He is messing with your head again. Don't listen to him - he is a rapist.