Should I go to this birthday party?

[Zanzibelle]

I started work at a new job 6 months ago. I am still trying to find my feet socially but have met some nice people.

One of the women is having a birthday party next month. It's a spa day followed by a meal. I jumped at the chance but then thought about the cost and realised we just cannot afford it. I'm assuming that we will all be paying for ourselves.

Another women approached me this afternoon suggesting that we all put in £20 for the bday present.

I'm getting worried now as we are seriously broke at the moment. The group of women who are going are all quite well off so I'm a bit embarrassed to say I can't afford it.

Shall I just cancel and tell the truth?

Just tell them that it's clashing with some other social arrangement your partner has made and now unfortunately you can't make it.

Letting work colleagues know about your personal finances is sharing too much for comfort.

I don't see any harm in saying you can't afford it right now.

Just saw you're too embarrassed to say. Unforeseen expense has arisen within the home?

Tell them you've had an unexpected car /boiler repair and need to be careful this month.

Cancel as soon as you can and just say you got mixed up on your dates and have realised you can't make it.

'I can't afford it' will make you sound like a killjoy.

I would prefer it if someone told that they couldn't afford it rather than give some lame excuse. I wouldn't think less of you for being skint.

Might you still be asked to contribute towards the present?

I think that £20 is a huge amount to contribute for a present. Is it a special birthday?

When we have birthday collections at work everyone puts £1 in.