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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Saying I love you.

27 replies

gigglygirlygirl · 01/07/2014 18:55

How did you first say it to your partner / boyfriend? Did they say it back?

I am seeing my BF on Sunday after not seeing him for 2 weeks and really want to tell him if my nerves don't get the better of me! I don't know whether to just chuck it out as a random comment or try to build up to it. I have never felt like this about anyone before so I don't want to make an idiot of myself!

OP posts:

SoleSource · 01/07/2014 19:00

Say it in bed whilst having the big O.

Then tell him you meant it when you have made the after sex sarnie

Keeping it real 2014

Quitelikely · 01/07/2014 19:03

I would wait for him to say it first. If you don't want to do that then you just gotta be brave and get it out.

freeish · 01/07/2014 19:05

My oh spelt it out with fridge magnets on the fridge

WestEast · 01/07/2014 19:05

DP declared his love for me whilst pissed at a house party in front of his mates :D I pissedly said it back. Meant it as well.
You're telling someone you love them, it's awesome :)

Original poster

gigglygirlygirl · 01/07/2014 19:16

The issue is that he said it really early on and I was shocked and didn't say it back so I don't think he will say it again.

OP posts:

Quitelikely · 01/07/2014 19:22

Oh I see! Well at least you know he's gonna say it back. I would go in the bathroom, steam the mirror and write it on there. I'm such a saddo!

FolkGirl · 01/07/2014 19:23

My boyfriend said it to me first.

It's completely changed everything.

We met online. We weren't supposed to fall in love. It was one of the things that attracted us to each other.

But you can't help it, can you?

West is right. It is awesome

Original poster

gigglygirlygirl · 01/07/2014 19:26

I think my insecure side is terrified that he won't say it back or that he doesn't feel like that about me but I don't want to wreck something that could be really good because of all the crazy in my head.

OP posts:

gatewalker · 01/07/2014 19:31

giggly - Don't do the crazy in your head thing. If you love him, say it -- just say it, without need or expectation. This is about your feelings for him, and not his reaction. It is a declaration from your heart. Do you need anything else?

FolkGirl · 01/07/2014 19:35

You're a grown up; he's a grown up. The purpose of these relationship things is to fall in love.

If he's scared off by it, he's not the man for you, is he? Either because he's too immature to deal with it, or because he just doesn't feel the same way. But he's already said it...

So, in your shoes, I would just say it to him really casually...

"You know what?"
"What?"
"I think I love you"

gatewalker · 01/07/2014 19:37

Folkgirl -- Oooh, I'd be more daring:

"You know what?"
"What?"
"I love you"

FolkGirl · 01/07/2014 19:42

gatewalker That is more daring...

but then I think I'd say it with a mischeivous glint in the eye and a rather coy smile...

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 01/07/2014 19:50

It just bubbled up when I said it. In return I got "define love?"

I replied that I couldn't define it, I just did. I got the wee humphy face.

Should have waited until after the sex and sandwich...

HillyHolbrook · 01/07/2014 19:56

I didn't tell DP, I just didn't correct him

We were watching a film at the end of a date after being together about a week, and I said I'd had a really nice time and mumbled 'with you' into his shoulder. He then beams at me and goes 'I love you too!'

7 years on, he doesn't know.

Original poster

gigglygirlygirl · 01/07/2014 21:34

I do like folkgirl's idea. Just need to be brave! I wanted to say it last time I saw him as I knew there would be a big gap before we saw each other again but I kept putting it off. I didn't want to just blurt it out!

He doesn't really talk about his feelings much. My rational side says that his actions show that he cares and is serious but my insecure side would probably feel better if he said what he thought of us.

Hilly That is funny - not like you could backtrack when he looked delighted!

OP posts:

CharlotteCollins · 01/07/2014 21:40

Hilly, if that were a movie, you'd find out in the end that he deliberately misheard!

HillyHolbrook · 01/07/2014 22:48

Ha! That's true Charlotte!

Yes OP- be brave! If he doesn't feel the same it means you can talk about where your relationship is actually going, and it saves you getting too invested if he doesn't want the same things. Though, if he shows he cares and is serious, it's likely he's just as scared as you

WhatsGoingOnEh · 01/07/2014 23:20

I'd wait for him to say it. It's not "insecure" to want him to reveal his feelings, it's quite sensible. :)

Why haven't you seen each other for two weeks?

Have you heard from him regularly in that time - daily texts. Or calls, etc?

Original poster

gigglygirlygirl · 02/07/2014 07:00

Hilly I think I am already invested!

WhatsGoingOhEh It has been 2 weeks because we both work shifts and he also had some issues with his ex / the kids so it has just been a longer this time. Normally we see each other about twice a week.

Daily texts some days more than others and calls every other day or so.

OP posts:

iMacHunt · 02/07/2014 07:24

In bed whilst snogging (and drunk).

He said it first. I'm glad I waited for him to say it before I did.

He doesn't say it much, but when he does I know he means it and I feel all giddy still (been together 16 months). I probably say it a bit too often but that's just me.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/07/2014 07:30

I tell all my friends & family I love them. I think the world needs more love. No big deal....

Badvoc2 · 02/07/2014 07:33

One of my exs wrote it on a steamed up mirror in the bathroom :)
I didn't say it back.
I did love him, but had realised by then he was no good for me :(

Doitforme · 02/07/2014 07:37

How early on did he say it and how long you been together now?

Back2Two · 02/07/2014 07:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

Original poster

gigglygirlygirl · 02/07/2014 17:40

He said it after 2 weeks and we have been together almost 4 months now.

He must know I am serious about him ......... feel bad that I haven't said it in all that time!

OP posts:

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