Rant

[CiderLover]

As the title suggests, just a rant really.

Have moved in with DP and things are ..... a little strained.

Things like; I got the wrong pet insurance, didn't set up the internet account properly, She doesn't agree with my ideas of decorating.

She seems to be taking control a lot and taking advice from her family before me.

Her family are proving to be massively involved in our relationship, they come round most nights or we go to them.

DP picks me up from work and takes me over there where we sit around drinking tea for 2 hours when all I want to do is go home and chill out.

I feel like any ideas I have regarding the house are quickly dismissed, then if I say anything she gets upset.

I am worried I have made a mistake by moving in with her (have given up my HA property).

Does everyone experience these bumps when first living together?

Ranting is all very well and good but the underlying problem still remains post ranting.

I think you need to move out and away from this person asap. This is clearly not working out already and the power balance is well skewed in her favour. It will only get worse for you as the power/control imbalance widens.

How long were you together before you moved in? I don't agree with visiting her family every day that would drive me mad! Sounds like she has all the control and you're not having much fun.

"I feel like any ideas I have regarding the house are quickly dismissed, then if I say anything she gets upset."

Well, of course she does! That's her well-learned tactic for getting her own way. You have an opinion of your own, which you're obviously not entitled to, and she either dismisses it or when you persist you have to be in the wrong somehow. Eventually, she'll be gathering her family round her to tell you how wrong your opinions are or you'll be ignored completely.

Her family are her own personal arsenal. And there are too many of them to fight against alone.

Do you pay your way?

They sound more than bumps, really?

How did you spend your evenings before?

You gave up your HA property? Oops.

Only together a year but it felt right.

I pay half of everything

Challenge her behaviour and be fully prepared for tantrums and sanctions.

I'd start with the picking-up-from-work and visiting her family every day.

No it shouldn't be like this. It sounds like your on different pages. It's a shame you gave up your HA property. Next time carry out a trial period of living with someone so you get a feel of how it's going to be.

Good luck with the decorating!