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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Think I have finally found the courage to kick him out

6 replies

muffinshasgotamuffintop · 01/07/2014 16:06

I feel bad even posting on here as I've been on mumsnet in the past about the same topic and everyone told me to leave but I just didn't feel emotionally or financially ready to.
Background is ds from previous, met dp when ds 3. Was quite quickly pregnant (1st mistake!) with dd. when 32 weeks pregnant with dd found load of messages on dp computer, sex/send us a picture type messages. He promised it wouldn't happen again and that was that. It happened again when dd 5 weeks old with texts to work colleagues trying to get them to come see him in hotel he was staying in. Same again I 'forgave' him. These messages/texts to various people have been going on our whole relationship I think.
We now also have ds who is 9 months. Last year dp was out of work and I had to cut short mat leave and start working 6 weeks after birth so we could afford to live, don't think this was too good for me so soon.

Anyways so since march dp in new job, I know he's been texting some woman from one of his stores, lots of kisses on messages when i do see them then deletes other messages before leaving phone near me.
On Saturday found emails between him and someone else, inappropriate stuff like wanting pictures, if she plays her cards right she might be his lady friend, I could go on..

He's a complete turd isn't he, he's manipulated me so much I don't know what's going on, just feel like I'm coming out of a fog and I can start to see clearly. He tells me I'm a lunatic and jump to conclusions and yesterday said that half of the problem was the fact that I looked, as though if I hadn't seen it then that was ok.

I know I'm rambling and not making sense just on phone and no idea how I'm going to cope with the three kids, guess the first few nights are the worse?

OP posts:
Quitelikely · 01/07/2014 16:13

I'm surprised he hasn't been fired for sexual harassment.

I think you know this isn't going to work. I hope you find the courage.

I doubt he will change. This will never end well.

Jan45 · 01/07/2014 16:13

So he's pretty much been cheating on you from the off and has absolutely no intentions of stopping, his audacity is astounding.

No offence but you yourself have minimised his behaviour by taking him back time and time over.

You either stay put and expect more of the same or make a stand, go get knowledgeable out your entitlements, with 3 kids you would be entitled to lots of help, go to CAB, see if they can advise you better.

muffinshasgotamuffintop · 01/07/2014 16:20

I've already looked, earn too much for most things but as childcare is £21000 a year :-O will qualify for a small amount of tax credits. That added to child maintenance means I only need to pay about £500 a month for the childcare costs. I pay all other bills anyway.
I'm working late this evening and have asked him to pack his stuff before I get home as I don't wanna be there when he does it.

OP posts:
muffinshasgotamuffintop · 01/07/2014 16:21

Quite likely she was responding, it certainly wasn't a one way conversation

OP posts:
EarthWindFire · 01/07/2014 16:25

Sorry for your situation. Whose is the house? Is it rented/owned?

muffinshasgotamuffintop · 01/07/2014 16:29

Ah yes that's another thing going on. I currently have a mortgage application in, all in my name. Mortgage repayment would be half my rent payment nearly.

OP posts:
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