This feels so silly.....and I feel like I'm a teenager again. (I'm in my 40s).
I REALLY REALLY like a guy, and we had a few dates a few months ago. We had a snog, and not much more, and he clearly doesn't want to take it further although we are now quite close friends. I'm hoping it will develop.... When we go out, usually once a month, we often have a snog, and always hold hands etc.
We are both on dating sites/Tinder and sometimes talk about our dates but nothing has come to anything yet.
He recently met a friend of mine. I've only known this friend for a year. She told me she won't pursue anything with him as she values our friendship. she said she wouldn't give him her phone number or meet up with him again as she knows how I feel about him and so it wouldn't be fair. I told her that I really appreciate that and thanked her and responded that I too value our new friendship.
I know I could have said that that was silly, and if she is attracted to him then she should go for it, but I decided for once in my life to not be a doormat and to just accept what she said and thank her.
Meantime, I know they are in contact, but don't know how much.
He has said to me that it would be odd if he dated her and that his friendship with me is too important to risk.
I haven't spoken to her since realising that she was going behind my back doing this.
My upset/disappointment is that she is doing this behind my back having said she won't. Not, that she is doing it. She could have said straight off that actually him and me are just friends, and therefore she actaully would like to see if anything happens with them.
Meantime, I am due to see him this Saturday afternoon. I would like to actually know if they have seen or are seeing each other, and just don't know how to play it. I feel perhaps I should cancel him, and step back and let whatever they want to evolve evolve, and then see what has happened in a month or two?
I don't want to get petty and ask them what's going on. They have both individually said to me that their friendship with me is the most important thing here, yet their possible actions show otherwise. Plus I then give them something to discuss and say I am being silly.
Do I step back? As I am writing this I think this is perhaps the most sensible thing to do. But I am really falling for him big time.
Do I ask one of them what's going on, and if they are planning on seeing each other again - but then I look petty and it just isn't necessary?
Any advice please? I feel like I'm 18 again. But we had an unspoken code of conduct then. Now I don't know what to do. Just disappointed mostly. xx