Financial implications of leaving..

[soitgoes]

I'm considering leaving my partner (not married) if our relationship doesn't improve over the next six months or so. That's for another thread so I won't go into that too much! I'm a stay at home mum, late twenties, 3 yr old and new baby. We don't own our own home but I do have savings of around 100,000 (all in my name!) and a share in a rented property giving me a small amount of my own income but not enough to live on.

I'm stuck with what to do if I leave financially. I don't think I would get/want a mortgage, and I live in an expensive area, looking at 250k for 2 beds. By equally I don't want to just live off my savings and whittle them away and be left with nothing.

I think if I had a clearer idea of what my life would actually be like on my own then I would find making the decision of staying/leaving easier!

You know you could get children's maintenance?
I would ask for legal advice regarding possible contributions from your partner while you are a SAHM. Alternatively, you could get a job and he could pay for a fair share of child care.

I can say with almost certainty I wouldn't see a penny from him.. Not a personal thing but I think he would equally stop paying all bills etc if I wasn't there!!

Also I have no qualifications so doubt I would get a job with more than min wage.. It's almost tempting to just move somewhere far away and cheap and buy outright though I know this wouldn't be fair or sensible

I think your first port of call is to get specialised legal advice.

Fair or sensible for who?

I think you will be excluded from certain benefits due to your savings. Not declaring them could land you in trouble. I don't think you would get housing benefit and I'm thinking if your current partner wants to be awkward he might contact the fraud line or something just incase you are claiming etc.

Yes I think maybe your right.. Avoided doing that so far as it seems a big step towards making it real.
I guess unfair on the my ds to take him too far from his dad..I would hope they could continue to see each other frequently or even have more quality time than they do now as it would be without me

Hi you might want to check out these websites to see what you might be able to get.

www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators

I think with that amount in savings you won't be entitled to any benefits. The limit I have in my head is 16k.

Although they are just in your name, are the savings actually just yours or joint?

If he stopped paying all bills then surely he'd be kicked out and have the bailiffs after him? Sounds like you'd be well rid.

You could discuss it with your STBX, then. Is he prepared to pay a fair share of accommodation for his DC to be near him?

I'd forget about benefits (but check first, just in case), but you could use your savings as investment. Either to get qualifications or to start a business that you could get an income from.

If you have no support other than your stbx, and you think he wouldn't be much help, I would seriously consider moving somewhere a bit cheaper. That amount of money would buy a 2 bed terrace here in a good area. an extra 10K or 20K would get you 3 beds. Admittedly it would still be a terrace.

Once you'd moved, I would then investigate what you might want to study to improve your chances of work when the children are older?

Thanks all for the advice and sorry for slow reply.. I'm beginning to think the money would be best spent buying us somewhere to live in. i went on the entitled to website and I won't be entitled to any income support or council tax relief because i own a share of another property.

I think I should have just about to live on...but it will be tight! going to have to look into in you into investing in myself to improve our future I think.

now I just have to get the guts to actually do doit.

I'm not really understanding your problem. You have £100k in the bank! Buy £250k house, get job. Sorted.