When the love is gone

[Hereweareitseems]

I have reached that point when I cannot even try. Dh not happy either, he feels unloved (with and without reason) but he is willing to try, he does not want to split the family.
I feel there's nothing to try. Not just because I can't but also because we are different. What he gives me is not what I want, and viceversa.

I feel that if I say ok let's try I am giving him false hope as I don't think I physically can.

It breaks my heart. He has been bereaved recently anpd feels lonely and abandoned.

I don't know what I am asking you... Maybe some experiences...

Sad and stuck

I totally get the 'giving him hope' comment and agree it's not right... But, but, but..

If the situation was reversed with you recently bereaved what would you do?

I don't know. You are right.

It has been a year. I say recent because the pain is still there.

Other bereavents and illnesses have happened to him throughout our rel so it has been tough. It was never the right time.

He accused me of not being supportive. i thought i had been.

Of course I can say he hasn't been supportive of me and that I have felt lonely and abandoned for years. But this doesn't help. We are both right. We feel what we feel.

I don't want to hurt him but I cannot keep hurting myself.

There's never 'a good time' for this kind of thing. There's always something... a bereavement, a birthday, the exams.... that can kick the can further down the road. You can waste months and years waiting for 'a good time'. Painful though it is for everyone concerned, I think it's more respectful and kinder to call time when you know it's over rather than keep someone dangling with false hopes.

Have you taken legal advice? Do you know your next steps? Saying it's through is just the start of the process.